Post # 1
I don’t really have any close friends, most are just acquaintances. I had a small group of friends in college, however after we graduated (about 5 years ago) we grew apart and they found jobs and new friends, while I just stayed and helped my parents with a small store they own. So I didn’t really have many opportunities to expand my social circle .
However, I managed to meet my fiance and against all odds we hit it off and next month I’m getting married in Europe. Almost no one except my family from my side are willing to fly over. Consequently, I don’t have anyone to be my bridesmaid. I’m an only child, and don’t have a large extended family, 2 of my cousins are under 10 and the one female cousin that’s in my age group can’t make it to the wedding.
What should I do? Should I ask his sisters to be my bridesmaid or perhaps a female friend of his, or would that seem presumptious and further highlight my lack of friends?
Post # 3
I did not want a huge bridal party especially considering I had a small wedding of about 60. We went with one person standing for each of us and I loved the simplicity of it.
Post # 4
You don’t HAVE to have a bridal party at all! I only have a small amount of close friends and considered not having one. No one would think anything of it and it’s one less thing for you to worry about.
Post # 5
First of all, congrats on your upcoming marriage! Second of all, I don’t think you need anyone if noone is close to you. However, it might be a nice gesture to ask a Father-In-Law to be an attendant. On other countries, as well, a bridal party maynot be traditional, include just children, or just one other attendant. In European countries particularly, wedding are way more low key than in the U.S.
Best of luck to you!
Post # 6
Thanks for your support! I understand that I don’t neccessarily have to have a bridesmaid, but in this case the issue is that my fiance is very social, and eventhough we’ve limited the guestlist to around 40 people, he’s chosen 3 best men. I’ve spoken to him about this, but he claims that they’ve had an agreement even before he met me that when one of them get married then they will be eachothers best men, so he can’t exactly cut two of them off. And I support his close friendships. I just don’t know how it would look during the ceremony when he has three people on his side and I’m alone :/
Post # 7
Are you close with your FI’s sister? Or at least friendly-like that you can use this experience of her standing beside you as a bonding method?
It would look odd, I think, for you to have no one beside you with your Fiance having three with him, and I think if your FSIL(s) might make a good addition.
Post # 8
@redorchid86: Many get married without a bridal party. I am only having my sister as my moh for our dw in st Thomas. Don’t feel like you have to have one just to have one…. I’d much rather not have a bridesmaid that just to pick someone just for the sake of having someone. Just think of it as one less thing to deal with in wedding planning
Post # 9
I’ve met my fiance’s sisters only once before at Christmas, and we didn’t really communicate due to language barriers and only exchanged pleasantries. He has two sisters but he’s not very close to either, although they enjoy a civli relationship. I was thinking about asking them, but I’m not sure whether it would be appropriate given the circumstances. And I don’t want them to feel they have to accept just because I asked and I don’t have anyone else. I’m a bit saddened by this situation but apart from resorting to this, I’m lost for an alternative.
Post # 10
I’m lucky in that I’ve got four sisters (and one sister-in-law) to be my bridesmaids, but I also asked my fiance’s two sisters. I’m friendly with them and I definitely wanted them to feel like they were part of the show. So if I were you, I wouldn’t feel badly about asking his sisters. Also, do you have any close guy friends? My “maid of honor” is a guy and I’m distinguishing him from the groom’s side by having him wear a vest of the same color as my girls’ dresses (the other guys will wear another color). When I was his “best man,” I wore a black dress of the same design as the BMs’ coral dresses and I thought it looked really nice.
Or what about asking your mom? If I didn’t have others for this part, I’d definitely ask my mom. Your BMs don’t have to be your age…I have a few cousins and aunts who I’d ask, too, if I didn’t already have such a big group. Good luck!
Post # 11
While it may not be traditional, but how about your Mom? I had a friend who’s Fiance asked his uncle who raised him as his son to be his best man.
Post # 12
I only plan on having my sister as maid of honor. No one else. I’ve heard of peo,e having their mothers stand by there side like a maid of honor?
I wouldn’t even worry about bridesmaids =]
Post # 13
I think asking the sisters in this scenario is a good idea. It will even out the sides a bit and I’m sure that even if they aren’t super close they will be happy to participate. I know for my family it meant a lot to have the siblings involved even though neither of us are super close to our respective brothers or sisters.
Post # 14
I would ask his sisters/female relatives. It will give you a chance to get to know them, and I’m sure they would be flattered. I think I would feel better with someone standing up there with me, even if I hadn’t known them that long. I don’t think its going to make you look like you don’t have friends. Peope understand that its pricey to travel. I would just assume the people you knew in the states couldn’t afford a European trip at the time.
Post # 15
I would either ask his sister, or not have a bridaly party, have an intimate ceremony where its just the two of you standing up at the alter 🙂 Nothing wrong with that!!!!!
Post # 16
DH’s brother stood with us as his Best Man, and I didn’t ask anyone (no sibs), so we only had him up there for our ceremony. DH also has three very good friends who could have been groomsmen if we had them, but we asked them to be ushers instead — they still were “honored” but they didn’t stand with us. We don’t regret the decision at all, and were far happier without a Bridal Party.
Could you ask your DH to do the same with his guys? They could still make a speech, walk in the processional, etc. but they’d simply sit in the front row rather than stand. That way, your intimate ceremony is just the two of you, and you won’t feel unusual with no MOH/BM.
Also, FWIW, I think it’s worse to ask people you don’t really want to stand up with you than to have no Bridal Party at all. Why bother just for appearances?