(Closed) I don't have enough money for this stupid wedding. HELP!!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
95 posts
Worker bee

Save like hell! My budget is 12k and I’m putting 500 away each month while we live off gov help and my part time work while I study and he looks for work. Live like a poor uni student for a while you can save loads! Good luck!

Post # 3
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

VictorianChick: Can you give some more informaton such as what part of NY you live in and how far you are willing to travel? My best friend got married in NY 3 years ago and spent a little under $10,000 for her 110 person wedding. She had an open bar for 4 hours and an open bar at the rehearsal dinner. She got married in January so my first suggestion to you would be moving the date to an off month.  

Post # 4
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery

VictorianChick:  Yikes that is a tall order. What part of ny are you in? Have you thought of moving your date to September in order to have a chance of better weather?

Post # 5
45534 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

VictorianChick:  Have you checked into restaurants with private rooms or buying out a restauarant? You can have the ceremony and reception in the same place.

You could also consider a brunch wedding- costs are significantly less.

Post # 6
5693 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

VictorianChick:  $6k for a 60 person wedding is do-able.  The key is that you aren’t going to be able to have the sort of wedding you think of as standard/traditional.  I’m guessing that most of the weddings you go to include a full dinner & dance for 100-150 people and cost $20,000 or more, right?

That’s not what a wedding with your nearest & dearest has to be.  

Think of it as a nice party where you get married.  If we take your 60 person guest list as a given, what would you need to have to throw a nice party for 60 people?  For some people that may be lots of champagne and cake and dancing.  For others it may be a lovely brunch.  For others it may be a sit down dinner.  Think about the way you want to celebrate and prioritize that.  

Forget everything else.  Litterally forget about centerprices and favors and bridesmaid dresses and flowers and custom invites and $800 dresses.  If you have money left over and you want to do a few of those things, great!  But all you really need is to figure out how to host a ceremony and then how to host a party.  Neither of those tasks are actually too complicated if you take all the Traditional Wedding (with a capital W) expectations out of it.

Post # 7
583 posts
Busy bee


Have you considered social halls or church halls?(yes a throwback, but it might be more affordable) private rooms at restaurants? Off days (such as Friday and Sundays?)

If you’re really into the Victorian theme (Although Downton Abbey is more Edwardian…) it was traditional at that time to follow up a wedding with a breakfast or an afternoon tea. Both would be more cost-effective than serving dinner.

Another thing to consider: having it outside of NY.

Post # 8
2328 posts
Buzzing bee

VictorianChick:  Time to start thinking outside the box.

Look into community rental halls, parks through recreation districts, friends who live in a complex that rents out pool cabanas etc. My cousin was able to rent the pool hall in her mother in laws complex through the HOA for only $500. 

Look into private rooms at local restaurants to hold the reception.

Look into alternative catering (places you wouldn’t normally think of. Sometimes they have great prices). 

Post # 9
7181 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

We had 85 people for apx $6000. We rented out a restaurant/bar and had a very non traditional ceremony. Lots of music and dancing, open bar, tons of passed appetizers and cupcakes. It CAN be done for your budget- but you may have to change your vision a bit.

Post # 10
2170 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

julies1949:  In my city the cost to rent out a restaurant for an evening (even a small one) is AT LEAST what the restaurant would normally make in that evening by keeping it open, which can be several thousands of dollars. Very pricey where I live and I imagine much more so in NY.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  sillysillybee.
  • This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  sillysillybee.
Post # 11
8069 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If you want the wedding of your dreams you could always push back the wedding date and save for longer. 

Post # 12
97 posts
Worker bee

My first wedding was at the Unitarian Church on the Upper East Side….they have a lovely chapel and a beautiful elegant & comfy reception room. They even have a little green space out front to hang out and take pictures. My budget was $2000 and it was truly lovely. It’s big enough for 60 to have cocktails and heavy apps, no more than 60 though!

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  Tincangirl.
Post # 13
90 posts
Worker bee

50% for a venue isn’t horrible. Buy all your attire online, diy like hell, order wholsale flowers. Do a cash bar, or find a venue that lets you supply the alcohol. You can do this!!! I’m on a fairly tight budget (9000) and have about the same amount of guests, but my FI fell in love with a rather expensive venue, that includes food, and honestly is a good deal for what we’re getting, so I’m saving EVERYWHERE I can. Also think about a friday/ sunday, or off season wedding, and you might be able to get discounts on vendors.  Feel free to message me for more ideas.

Post # 14
42 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

Not sure where in NY you are, but check out Emerson Resort in Mt Tremper. It’s a gorgeous outdoor (covered with heaters) pavilion with indoor options. My best friend just had her wedding there. 50 people with hor doeuveres reception. We were stuffed!! Food was awesome, coordinator was amazing, gorgeous setting. They spent, no lie, $2k for 50 pp. Just get creative! 

Post # 15
45534 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

sillysillybee:  There are lots of small mom and pop type restaurants with good food that won’t cost a fortune. Like most people the OP may have to modify her wishes to meet her budget.

VictorianChick:  Post a query on your local Chowhounds board to find small restaurants.

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