- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Long story short.
My BEST friend has been in a not so great relationship for some time now…
He is hot and cold, doesn’t share the same values as her, and generally never puts her first… He is short with her. Obviously there are good things about him and the relationship that are keeping her with him which I have a hard time seeing. I have only met him once becuase they both live 10 hours away.
It’s one thing to lose your cool and say things you regret, but he has put his hands on her 3 times now.
First two time were pushing and the last time… He put his hand(s) around her throat!
She had heard of him possibly cheating and he just lost it – got so mad (at her or himself? Who knows) that he squeezed her throat. Apparently he quickly realized what he was foing and stopped, BUT COMMON, still.
The second time he pushed her, she said that if he ever gets physical again she will straight up leave. Yesterday after we spoke, she agreed that she would pack her things and leave him for at least a few days. But even after packing all of her things, he managed to make her stay by crying and crap.
It doesn’t even sound like he takes this seriously. She said that he said:
”What, did I hurt you?”
”I have gotten help before and it has done nothing”
”I don’t want help from out there, I want YOU to help me…”
She also didn’t have a ride to go anywhere, and her friend has kids, etc. etc. The thing is, she hasn’t really told anyone else about him getting physical, so maybe her friends over there aren’t so insistent on helping unless she puts herself out there.. I dont know – and i don’t know just how close she is to her local friends. A lot of her friends are his friends too and she is afraid if getting them against him… She had no money and a little part time job… She has lots of people who would take her in in a heartbeat, but they are very far away so she would have to quit her job… I really think that she would have lots of support if she just put herself out there…
Stupidely, I even offered to call him and give him a talking to. She wanted me to, but not right away (tonight, more specifically), so regretfully, I told her to take the day to think about it.
I don’t know what to do. It was so hard for me not to give her my advice, and I don’t know how to handle it from here…
PS. After pushing and pushing for it, he has agreed to get help, but I am not optimistic… I really think he should get help BEFORE she gives him another chance and stays…. 🙁