(Closed) I don't know how to stop!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

You need to find yourself another hobby, girl!  This is starting to get to your head and it’s going to drive your man crazy.  I just came here from the ring post you just posted and saw that no one responded to this. 

You might be bombarding him with too many things all at once.  I know what you said you want, but the both of you have to come to an agreement on what is best for you both as a couple.  You have no idea when he wants to get married or how long of an engagement he anticipates having. 

Don’t talk to him about it anytime soon, give him a bit of a break from it and then later on bring it up starting with when he sees the two of you getting married.  He might also not want to talk about it because he might be traditional – he might want to surprise you and he’s afraid that if you keep bombarding him with it, that he won’t be able to surprise you with it.

Unless you think that he’s never going to propose, stop bombarding him!

Post # 6
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

Can you promise both yourself and him for a detente for a certain period, say 2 months, then request a serious conversation for a general timeline? That will give him a break but also let him know you don’t want to just let it go ad infinitum. Just a thought if you really can’t hold off entirely…. Good for you for trying to be calm! Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

You mentioned in your other post about him being a graphic designer and wanting to design his own ring.  It sounds like he wanted pix of what you liked and why you liked those because he wanted to design a ring that he knew you would like.  I think you should let it be and definitely stop looking at rings.  He’s probably designing one for you or in the process of getting one and he probably doesn’t want to be overwhelmed with you changing your mind about what you like.  It sounds like you guys are on the right path and he just wants to do it his own way and surprise you, so I’d say to just sit back and enjoy the ride until then.  I know it’s hard, but take up a new hobby.  Don’t look at any more wedding stuff or proposal stuff and it will be a lot easier for you!

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I totally feel for you because I had a really frustrating ‘waiting’ game too. What might help is if you tell him how frustrated and stressed you are about the whole thing and ask if you can both agree on a timeline to get engaged. LIke “No matter what, we will definitely be engaged by X date” So he can plan ahead and make it romantic, or you can both just look forward to that day as your upcoming engagement. If he’s okay with getting engaged in general, it shouldn’t be an issue – especially if he can understand how stressful this is for you. Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

Hey girl. I know it sucks when waiting but i think you did a good thing. You didn’t innitiate the convo. He asked you what you wanted for your B-day and you told him. period. you did good. You didn’t cry or curse or even say “I want a big ol ring and you on one knee.” you just said “You know what I want.” And he did.

And that Pained look…is because he felt guilty.

I guess i am in a bad mood today…cause i say…let them. If your (Plural You, not Singular You) man feels guilty that he hasn’t proposed. That is because he has something to feel guilty FOR!

Oh. I am a bad bee today

Post # 10
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I think I have had that same exact “what do you want for your bday” convo with my SO and probably didn’t handle it as well as you! Be proud of how you did and come to the hive and vent to us instead of talking to your SO we will never get sick of hearing about it! 

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  lol I love it! I am a bad bee today too! 

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