(Closed) “I don’t know how you do it!?”

posted 6 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Oh gosh. I can relate. When we were dating, my husband and I were long-distance for 4 years. Everyone told me how they didn’t understand it, how they thought that distance sucked, and we would just shrug, smile, say that we missed each other but that it was worth it. And then the sweetest reward…we got engaged, and then married, and are now living happily ever after under the same roof. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

@Starkiss:  I was in a LDR for a 1 1/2 yrs. It was painful and received endless comments like that but I would just smile and say “It’s not easy but worth it thanks”

Ekk as if we don’t/didn’t know it is hard.

Post # 5
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Starkiss:  I can πŸ™‚ I dont have a ready answer but I just say ” Yea it sucks, I cant wait till were finally together” — I dont let it bother me really I guess theyre just in shock that were strong enough to do it! we gotta do what we gotta do!

Post # 6
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We were Long Distance for about a year and a half. People would tell me that and I’d reply, “ME EITHER! It sucks!” because to me it did, it never bothered me when people made those comments.

Post # 7
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My favorite part is when ignorant people ask “how do you know he doesn’t have a gf there?” REALLY? UGH. When people ask me how I do it, I say “it’s not easy, but when you’re in love you make it work”. Closing the distance exactly 3 months from today!!!

Post # 9
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@AirForceWife78:  see this is what would upset me ! Just becuase people are long distance doesnt mean that automatically they have someone on the side. loyality is still present these days!

Post # 10
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I know this isn’t ‘long’ distance but I see my fiance for about 4 days a month, if I’m lucky due to school work, vehicles – life! It’s only a 2 1/2 drive but it might as well be 2 1/2 days and it’s been like this for at least half or our relationship (so about 4 years?). I just tell people it’s not easy but it’s worth it.

I’ve never gotten anyone asking ME if he has another g/f but sometimes I have nightmares he does because I’m insecure about myself not how much he loves me, last weekend he told me that when he’s sad or misses me he’ll listen to the voice mails I leave him, even the angry ones. Not sure why but it just made me realize how much he really does care for me and how much dealing with the distance is going to be worth it.

Post # 11
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

“Two words: phone sex.” That oughta shut them up πŸ˜‰

Darling Husband and I got engaged before I left for grad school in the UK, so I got my fair share of people saying, “So you got engaged and then just left?” than anything else, but I did also get the occasional, “Good for you! I could never do that…” and yeah, it kind of pissed me off. If the person’s right for you, you find a way to make it work. My own mother thought I was going to meet some guy with an accent who I’d dump Darling Husband for. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mom πŸ˜›

I think what used to bother me the most was the people who would go, “Oh yeah, my boyfriend went away for a week once for a conference and OMG it was so hard to be without him!” while I sat there thinking, “Oh noes, a week? Poor thing. Try a year.”

Post # 13
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@MrsWrangler:  Woohoo! Isn’t it the best? The reward at the end makes it all worth it. πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@linguo42:  Ha! I just laughed out loud.

Anyway, don’t let it bother you! Being in a LDR really is hard, so I don’t think people mean to offend you when they say it. When Darling Husband and I were dating people would always say that, followed by “OH, I could never date someone in the military!” to which I would just say well, I never thought I could either, but when you love someone you make it work! Two years later and we are happily married, so I guess it’s possible!

Post # 15
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Gemstone:  Yes it does πŸ™‚ My favorite is the jerks who said that since we spent most of every year apart in school, we’d be at each other’s throats and on our nerves when we finally lived together. But actually, living apart has made us NOT take each other for granted and we had such a long time to talk everything we wanted out of life out, hopes dreams and how to run a family/home/marriage, that we actually get along way better than those naysayers could’ve dreamed πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

Whenever I hear something like that, I feel like responding with, “Well, you must not love your boyfriend/girlfriend/SO enough if you couldn’t make it in a LDR”.  Sometimes, its hard to not want to have a snarky comment when people talk about long distance or missing their SO “sooooo much” because “I haven’t seen him in two days!” *facepalm*.

My favourite comment is when SO’s mother commented that we shouldn’t laugh about his younger sister and her boyfriend acting like they hadn’t seen each other forever because, “They haven’t seen each other in three days!”  When she said it, we had just gone withing seeing each other 3+ weeks, had already had 15 months long distance behind us, and when I was about her age we literally had no way to communicate 5 days a week (he worked at a provincial park).

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