I don't know if I should get married?

posted 2 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 16
Member
9132 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

If you’re not sure that you’re IN love with him – then you are not in love with him! If you’re not in love with him, you shouldn’t get married. You won’t get more in love later. It’s easier now to break things off, than when you’re married. Don’t marry him. 

Post # 17
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I wonder if pre marriage counseling will be helpful for both of you, so your can voice your concerns with some guidance.

 

Post # 18
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Those feelings and doubts you’re having now? They won’t go away just because you got married. They’ll be worse. I ignored my gut and am now in the process of separating after 1 year of marriage to my best friend. Address this completely before you continue wedding planning. I’m not gonna say break up or get married, every situation is different. But you need to be honest with him and tell him how you’re feeling. Postpone the wedding until you know what you want. 

Post # 19
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

Sorry Bee, but ‘I’ don’t think you should get married, at least not to him. 

It is clear by your post that if you go through with it, you will always wonder ‘what if’ and although the same can be said if you end things with him and wonder what life with him would have been like, its better you have a hard break up than stick it out with him and you’re not happy and always wonder who else you could have married or what else you could have done with your life. 

I am now at a point where I am seriously questioning staying where I am (in my country) but Fiance is very settled and I am the one who has to decide whether I want to go or stay and be with him, and for me it’s easy, I would rather be with him than be anywhere else. 

He deserves someone who will love him and want to be with him, just as you deserve the same. 

I think let him go and free yourself from the mental and emotional turmoil. It will be hard but you will get through 😘

Post # 20
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

That being said, I just want to point out that this is just an internet forum, and you should not allow strangers to determine important life decisions. I always take an opinion with a pinch of salt and keep in mind that I am the only one who is fully aware of the situation I am in. 

Post # 21
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - San Diego, CA

I was in this exact relationship for 8 years and we are now divorced. Looking at everything, things will not change after you get married. Biggest thing is sexually, if you don’t feel that way to him now you definitely won’t after marriage. You will end up miserable and maybe doing something out of character, like an emotional affair, to make yourself feel good about yourself. Trust me, even if you’re already planning, it will be more painful to divorce than to just end things now.  You deserve more, he deserves more. You’re settling for someone because you don’t know whay you want, but I promise you you’re going to feel the same and eventually harbour resentment towards him. I’m not saying you should leave him, but you 100% need to put a hold on planning the future.  You, and you alone, need to decide what you want. 

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