(Closed) I don't know if I should laugh or cry

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Hmm…they are weird, that’s for sure. I would keep on ignoring the weird comments like you have been. You can’t control how they feel about your relationship, but you can control your reaction.

As for the period questions, proposed addition and random visit to SO’s training, I think he needs to talk to them to make his boundaries clear. They may seem like random comments now but it could cause a big problem in the future if the ILs have different expectations for your relationship with them. For example, what if Father-In-Law did book a ticket to come visit? Father-In-Law would be caught totally off guard when your SO said that wouldn’t work because he didn’t have any objections before. Best of luck.  

Post # 5
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@JemmaWRX:  I don’t know how much help I am. But I agree with the PP where she said boundaries. Set them now and don’t let it become a bigger issue later. You just need your Fiance to laugh whatever comment off but at the same time shut the idea down. For example about the duck thing “I think you might be confused Dad, JemmaWRX loves duck, I know that!”

Also, MIL? WTF. Yes, ignore or give her a look and say “I’m not comfortable discussing that with you, if you want to know if we are TTC just ask but the answer is still no”. Or whatever 🙂

Post # 6
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

This sounds like my Father-In-Law. Are they older people like in their 70’s. I had a hard time dealing with him in the beginning but now I just laugh. Questions like, “Why don’t you like soda?” I just don’t like it, is that a crime? “I want to spend the month here but I’ll wait until you get a house or a bigger appartment.” Really? Because you have to be invited first. Anywho, I know he likes me and does not mean wrong, but he just can’t say things in a very polite way! So, just laugh it off.

Post # 9
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@JemmaWRX:  Whoa. Dude, 8 years later is putting it nicely isn’t working. Just say it as flat out and bluntly as you can. “I think that is a really awkward and inappropriate thing to ask” or just turn it back on her *shocked face* “wow Mother-In-Law why would you ask that?”

I definitely agree, no matter how bad your family issues get there is always someone who has it worse 🙁

Post # 10
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You mind I share my family story? My Sil, who is always drunk on holidays, says really bad things.  We are eating, and she remarks about something she saw on my Facebook. She turns to my son and asks if he wants to be her Facebook friend all he has to do is to get on her face. My SO and I basically spit out our food laughing! She asks what’s so funny, and he repeats back to her that she just asked our 19 year old to get on her face. I then made some smart assed remark about how somethings do not have to stay in the family. She then breaks down in tears, because that’s not what she meant, and boo hoo, blubber blubber… 

 

I still think its funny.

Post # 11
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@JemmaWRX:  It is extremely hard to not look at it in a bad way. Specially when they are making such comments that can create tension between you and your SO. One time my Darling Husband drove his parents to their house which is 2 hours away after they visited for about 4 days. Father-In-Law asked Darling Husband to stay for the weekend and even offered to call me and explain that he would be leaving me all alone at our apartment 2 hours away because he wanted to have his son for the weekend! I was livid! Needless to say, Darling Husband said no and returned home.

As long as you know where to draw the line, you will be fine in your marriage and they will just be your inlaws. Make sure your husband is on the same page as you. It is important that they see that you are his priority. I always tell my Darling Husband when I think his dad is getting out of line, and he lets him know that he does not like it, but he doesn’t go like “she said this..” 

Hopefully you can work things out because in-laws can be a nightmare! 

Post # 12
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@JemmaWRX:  bahahahaha oh man. weird. You’re not alone!! Sounds my my Future Mother-In-Law. She audibly farts– true story. drinks LIKE A FISH, has a weird tick when she watches TV, constantly refers to our daughter as “her” baby and REFUSES to leave the house except to go out to eat when she comes to visit. Good lord, luckily she lives 12 hours away and I see her once a year, tops. Doesnt sound like you’re so lucky. 😉 Might I suggest a glass of wine (or 2) before interacting with them?

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