(Closed) I don't know if I want to keep my dog.

posted 7 years ago in Pets
Post # 2
Member
1413 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

He looks like a sweetheart. He will never be Clyde, and that is okay! And you might never love him in the same way – which is also okay. But it seems like you really do have some love for him based on how you wrote about him. 

I would lean towards keeping him, and maybe getting him a friend. Try to imagine if you loved him and felt attached but Fiance wasn’t sure. Would he let you keep the dog? 

Give it more time. You do seem to really like him. It can be hard to bond with a dog after losing one. Don’t give up hope!

Also think about finding him a friend. It’s okay if you sometimes like the second dog more than the first. I have three rescued kitties and sometimes feel like I love one of them “more” than another. It happens. But I love them all – just in different ways. 

Post # 3
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think you have had this dog long enough to rule out that you won’t want him for forever. Being shifted and stressed out as much as this poor dog has you probably haven’t actually seen his true personality. I think you should give him more of a chance. 

 

My heart just breaks looking at his pics knowing your thinking of giving him up:( especially since your Fiance seems to be giving him the love he desperately needs and deserves.

Post # 4
Member
8601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m sorry but you adopted him, he’s your responsibility. I think it’d be truly awful of you to return him. You can teach him manners and give him time to heal and rehabilitate his spirit, and give him plenty of playdates if you can’t swing getting him a dog friend. You will bond with him eventually. Unless you can find a willing, responsible loving owner who wants him don’t you dare send him back to a shelter. He’s big? He jumps? Sounds like a dog. Those aren’t good enough reasons, if he was aggressive and violent I’d change my tune. And your Fiance wants him. 

Post # 5
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee

To me, there are no reasons listed why you should not keep him, unless finances are a big concern which they very may be. The ‘big dog’ fears and the jumping things come down to consistent training. Staffys and breeds in that vein just need consistency and a positive example. Leroy is his own dog in his own right, and you will love him and develope your own unique relationship with him over time. It just seems like you still are adjusting to him, and all this is okay ๐Ÿ™‚ He clearly is a great dog and I am sure there is so much potential in him and love to give!

Post # 6
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
MrsBuesleBee:  They didn’t adopt him, they are fostering.

Post # 7
Member
2835 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I have three dogs and it’s OK if you are not as attached to him as your Fiance is.  Out of our three my hubby has his favorite and I have mine.  The third dog likes to play a lot so we give her plenty of play time while the other dogs are lap dogs.  

They really become like your kids.  I love them deeply although I am not as close to hubby’s dog as I am to my own.  I suggest you picking the second dog from the shelter or a rescue and making sure you really bound with it along with Leroy.

Post # 8
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

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somethingbee:  I agree for an abandoned shelter dog he seems to have minimal issues. My dog is a total brat and she has had a loving home from day 1 lol

Post # 9
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I have a similar situation. I fostered and adopted my dog when I lived by myself, but I knew eventually I would move in with my boyfriend(now fiance), so I let him come with me to pick her out. It’s been a couple of years and I’m obsessed with her and she’s very attached to me, but my fiance still has not bonded with her and barely tolerates her even though we live together, but he would never ask me to get rid of her because he knows how attached I am.  

Post # 10
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Could Future Sister-In-Law offer him a home? Then you would both still see him. Perhaps you could oay or contribut to his vet bills and insurance. You may well grow to love him but if there is a happy alternative for Leroy then you can explore it. 

I hope you manage to find a solution that works for you all. 

Post # 11
Member
8601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
jjbeebee:  ahh I missed that.

Well sorry I was harsh then OP, maybe give it some more time. He seems sweet and jumping can totally be quelled with a little behavior work. 

Post # 12
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

1. Don’t be afraid to love this dog. I think that is the real issue here. Clyde will 100% always have a special place in your Heart. It isn’t wrong to love another dog, it’s not a replacement for Clyde. It’s moving on and sharing your love again. In all honesty, do you think Clyde would have wanted you to not share your love? To not help other dogs just to honor his memeory? Being a rescue dog, rescuing is the way to honor his memory and share and give your love to other animals. Whether that be fostering, volunteering, adoptung, whatever. 

With that being said, maybe you jus aren’t ready for another dog yet? Maybe you need to mourn some more, which is perfectly acceptable, or maybe your worries about loving this dog more is holding you back? 

As to having that moment, maybe Leroy won’t be your dog. Maybe, he will be your husbands. And if you get another one that will be your dog. There is nothing wrong with having a “favorite” so to speak. My one foster cat. Was 100% in love with my fi and her with him. I did not bond with her. I liked her and I loved her don’t get me wrong, but I just didn’t connect with her like m Fiance did. We kept her and I love her just the same as my other animals. My dog 100% mine, loves her daddy, but will do anything to be with me. That doesn’t mean you wont love this dog just because you don’t have that “connection” with it. 

as for you not being used to A big dog that’s only somethIng you can determine if you are okay with it.

The jumping is somethung you will have to train them for  I know it’s difficult but you really have to stick with it. I would even recommend a puppy obedience class. 

As a vet tech, and getting questions about a second dog all the time, I honestly 100% recommend it. Having a second dog can really help. It really helps with manners, as long as, they are trained. you really need to be able to take the time. But overall, dogs are happier and more content with a second dog because they are pack animals. Being a puppy, second dog will help with the energy. However, it is something you have to commit too. But I have found adding a second dog doesn’t really require that much extra work. You are already in a routine, it’s just an extra body there for that. 

As for expenses, yes dogs are expensive no question about that. I imagine the big guy you already have eats alot. You could switch to a higher quality food and he would not need so much, which in the long run would save money. Alot of the lesser quality foods have a bunch of fillers so they need more food. 

As for vet bills, you normally can get a discount for having two animals at the vet. Not much, but if you bring them in at the same time there should be a bit of a discoubt, but again that depends on your vet. As for additional cost, normally, you woukd only be going to the vet once or twice a year so overall it’s not horrible. If you get your possible second dog from a rescue it should already be spayed a d neutered, which is one of the most expensive parts of having a puppY. Other then that, if everything goes well becuase who knows there are emergencies, you will just be paying for shots every year. 

 If you do not want to get a second dog. Do puppy play camps! You can do it a couple times a week, also an expense, and thatll still let him interact with other dogs 

Well good luck! This guy seems like a cutie pie, but you ultimately have to do what feels best and right for you. 

Post # 13
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
Brickette:  Aww internet hug! It’s a touch sitch! Definitely want to make sure you all are the right fit. It sounds like your hubby has made his decision. If you are used to smaller dogs it can take time. I’m a cat person but I can say without question that two of my cats stole my heart. One of them, Columbo, I didn’t want at first. He was soooo cuddly and needy. But my ex bf was in love with him so we kept him and I have never loved a pet so much. He may be exactly what you need. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would definitely give it some more time. 4 weeks are not long.

We also lost one of our little dogs in October 2014, due to a brain tumour. Mollie was only 7 years old. Left alone was our 9 year old dog Stella.

So 6 weeks ago we bought a new pup – Luna. Sometimes I gets worried about if I show them both equally amount of love etc. Or if Stella thinks Luna was a bad idea. Luna is a pup and can be quite annoying…  And sometimes I even feel guilt towards Mollie.  But I guess that it just means we are good people, who have those feeling towards our furry friends. 

When you lose a dog you have had and loved for many years, maybe you have some false underlaying expectations on the new dog?

I think Leroy looks really sweet and I think you are amazing for have saved his life. You will love him like I’m sure he already loves you. Just give it time. He deserves it. 

Post # 15
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

P.s. love that face he’s making on the couch!! Looks like such a goofball!

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