(Closed) I don't know if I want to keep my dog.

posted 7 years ago in Pets
Post # 46
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

you wouldnt want him to replace clyde that was the reason you didnt want a male dog 

get a second smaller dog like you wanted & let your guy keep his big boy ( just pick wise on grooming and health concerns)

the bigger the dog the more to love

you may have not bonded with the new lil boy bc you have in the back of your mind distanced yourself bc you had it set you werent keeping him I bet if you settled on the idea of keeping him it would come natural ….

keep the big baby he looks so happy I hate to think that goofy face crying again …….

 

*****also adding from your last update: 

I know when you lose a pet for a true animal lover its hard to picture yourself being willing to go back through that heart ache but, everytime I also realize how empty my life would have been without them… how many smiles and laughs I would have never had in life all those years… and to me the joy of loving an animal always eventually seems to win ( you always miss him and how happy he made you but, thats the beautiful part of how happy it made you and another baby will do the same and yes eventually it will be pain ful but there will be way more smiles than there will be tears)

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by LadyPeacockk.
  • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by LadyPeacockk.
Post # 47
Member
3053 posts
Sugar bee

We had a similar situation with a cat we essentially rescued – hadn’t been looked after properly her whole life (she’s around 3 or 4), wasn’t used to human interaction at all. She STUNK like a barnyard animal when we first brought her home, and she was being a bit mean towards our kitten (he was 3months at the time).

Honestly, I felt I didn’t have the bond I had with Benson (kitten) when we first brought Misty home. I was afraid we were going to have to find her another new home for a couple of months. But now she is properly looked after, and we even took her in for a ‘lion cut’ becuase she wouldn’t allow us to brush her LONG LONG LONG coat and she was getting matted up pretty bad.

We brought her home September and she is a completely different cat now, she will actually come up and sit on our laps these days, when we first got her we left her to her own devices and she was happy doing her own thing, but now she wants to be around us 🙂

It takes a while for them to settle, especially when they have had a shitty life. I say give him more time, I bet he will grow on you like our cat did 🙂

Post # 48
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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Brickette:  I just wanted to say how sorry I am about your clyde 🙁 it’s so hard when you have that attachment to a pet. My Henry got really sick really quickly last Xmas and we had to put him down. I’m still devastated about It and still get choked up thinking about him. He was my baby, my shadow. You need to give yourself time to grieve. I have no words of wisdom on what to do with Leroy, but just wanted to send you internet hugs about Clyde. Loosing the furry ones in your life can be the hardest thing to work through….

Post # 49
Member
545 posts
Busy bee

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Brickette:  sweetie, the thing about being a dog human is that you are going to outlive most, if not all, your dog friends. It’s ok to not be over Clyde; he was part of your fam and he always will be. Leroy is looking at you like his new family. If you decide he shouldn’t be part of your clan, he (not to mention your SO) will have to deal with that heartbreak and start all over– if he doesn’t end up meeting his fate in the shelter. 

What happens if you give Leroy up and you feel the same way about the next? I know it’s tough, but I think you need to let Leroy help you heal the wounds Clyde left on your heart. 

Sending you and your buddy Leroy some positive vibes! 

Post # 50
Member
8514 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m so sorry about losing Clyde and I agree with PPs that nothing will ever replace him — but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t allow yourself to fall in love with Leroy (or any other dog). You can completely love Clyde AND completely love Leroy/another dog.

That being said, pets are big commitments (as you already know). It never crossed my mind when we brought home a cute little kitty from a shelter that 17 years later, she’d be right here next to me as I type this. So while I think you ought to give it some more time, I also think you and your Fiance need to definitely be on the exact same page about adopting him.

Post # 51
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Oh wow I’m so terrible sorry to hear about you losing your baby Clyde! I can’t even imagine the pain of losing my first fur baby….so kudos to you for dealing with it and welcoming a new dog at the same time!

 

As far as keeping Leroy or not, I would say to give it time. Fiance and I recused a beagle who lived outside in our sub divison for over a month last June and it hasn’t been easy! I wouldn’t say that I don’t love him as much as my first fur baby but I just love him differently…he is more my Fiance dog but I’m ok with that. I think you just need more time to bond with him and continue healing from Clyde. It’s ok to love another dog again…

Post # 52
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

I understand that your still suffering.. but look at that face!

He looks like a loving, sweet dog that you can train to be better. He will already love you unconditionally and be so thankful for you.. its ok if it takes you a little longer to feel the same way towards him. 

Post # 53
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee

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PorcelainBelle:  absolutely. animals change SO much once they have been in a stable loving environment but it takes so long. My Mum passed and we took in my cat brother and he is only just coming around now, over 12 months later. If he had’ve gone to a pound no one would have wanted him – he was so withdrawn and hissy and he has a very expressive face so he was all pinched up and frowning, poor chap. Now he smiles like no ones business

Post # 54
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee

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Brickette:  You can tell you love this little Leroy by the way you write about him. I think you’re still grieving (understably) and you’re afraid moving on means you’re being disloyal to your boy Clyde. The truth is you’ll never “move on”. You’ll always love and remember Clyde xx

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by Beegritte.
Post # 55
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m sorry about Clyde! I am still very attached to my previous roommates two dogs and go over to play with them — and I know that one day the older dog will leave this earth which will feel just awful. Everytime my friend says to me, You know Mc Kenna is really slowing down, I want to change the topic!

By the way, Leroy looks like such a sweetheart!

Post # 56
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

As someone who works in the pet industry. I say keep him. I know when I lose jasper I will feel the same as you. But Leroy loves you! your Fiance loves him and so do you! Which is more than enough. Just because you don’t love him the same way doesn’t mean it’s not good enough. 

And as someone who accidentally fell in love with a cat and adopted him for recently, I don’t think it’s fair not to let your Fiance keep him.

Losing pets is the worst feeling. Jasper is almost 9 and is ‘senior’ which stresses me out. But as hard as it is to lose a pet it is worth it when you get to give their lives meaning. I could not imagine my life without the two dogs and two cats. And when I do unfortunately lose jasper I sure as hell will rescue another dog. It’s not about replacing him. It’s about saving a life. (I’d do it now if we weren’t at our limit for pets).

I’m sure Clyde had an amazing life, which without you he wouldn’t have gotten. Don’t you want the same for Leroy? 

Post # 57
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Oh I also think the jumping is fairly easy. The best way is ignoring. Do this a few times a day (outside because he’s big), get your Fiance to also. Go and play with him and as room a he jumps, stop and turn your back on him. Not eye contact no nothing unless he’s calm with all four paws on the ground. It also means never letting him jump while playing because he may decide that he’s playing and jump while your not. Everyone needs to comply with it and be consistent or it won’t work. Otherwise you are right, he’s could hurt someone. I imagine not drastically but still.

Feel fre. To PM me if you think it will help. I’m off to work to help more owners like yourself!

Post # 59
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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Brickette:  I’m so sorry for your loss, and I commend you on fostering Leroy and thinking hard about what’s best for him.

The pictures of Leroy are all precious. My idea for keeping him off tables is what a former boss did to keep their dog off the furniture, they used those plastic spiky things that you put on carpet to create a smooth surface for a rolling chair, upside down so the plastic spikes face up, but I’m not totally sure that would be safe for him, and obviously that’s not a perfect solution.

Post # 60
Member
253 posts
Helper bee

When I adopted my dog, I had all this stress that even though I liked her, I just couldn’t love her or feel the deep connection that I expected (she is my first dog). But because -unlike you- I had adopted her, giving her up was not an option. At some point I found out it was my expectations that kept me from being happy and stressed me out. I decided all I had to do was to keep her fed, sheltered and entertained and shouldn’t force myself to love her, but instead think about all the things that were admirable in her. I appreciated what she was, and not what I expected her to be. You know what? I absolutely adore her now. It just took me 6 months. I think you too should stop comparing with your old dog. Leroy is what he is. And you’re not a bitch either way. You are just fostering.

Also, all the behavior problems you mention are fixable if you pay a trainer or do a little research and train him yourself. For example next time he jumps on the table, leave the camera and scold him.Then praise him the minute his feet touch the ground. I advise you to train him even if you don’t intend to keep him. At best, it will help you bond. And in any case it will help him get adopted and stay that way. And you probably don’t HAVE to get another dog. Most children are happier with siblings too, but that’s not a good enough reason on its own to have a second child.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by melissamaria.

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