(Closed) I don't know if I want to keep my dog.

posted 5 years ago in Pets
Post # 76
Member
256 posts
Helper bee

Brickette:  The way you lost your baby was nothing but tragic and I can’t imagine ever going through that. It’s even harder to lose a pet when there was no warning, no time to get used to the idea, no time to say goodbye. With that being said, sometimes things/people/pets are brought into our lives for a reason. At least, that is what I believe. I think this new dog may be here not to replace your Clyde, but to become your Leroy. He may be able to mend your heart just a little bit by filling it full of his love and affection. I’m not saying you definitely need to keep him, but consider that your hesitation may be caused by grief and sadness. 

Additionally,  I think the jumping can honestly be remedied after a few (1-2) sessions with a trainer. He is adorable. 

Post # 77
Member
3729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Brickette:  I totally feel for you. I feel like it must be so much harder to foster than adopt. Darling Husband and I wanted a dog… well Darling Husband wanted a dog and I was scared of the work. He fell in love with Lady… a “mini-Lab” and I agreed we could keep her. Well Lady wasn’t a 2 year old “mini-lab”, she was an 8 month lab-pit mix who hadn’t finished growing yet. We also struggled with manners, energy, and appropriate greetings. Her name did not fit her personality. At all.

It took months for me to connect to her. Don’t get me wrong– she was loved and cared for, but she wasn’t my baby. We have had her 6 months and have had a lot of tough transition. She has A LOT of issues from being a stray and Darling Husband wasn’t the best in keeping her out of situations that were asking for trouble. About 3 months in, she became mine. I love this little pain in the butt just as much as my old dog and probably more than Darling Husband does. I am staying home from work today because she has a stick stomach and I don’t want her to stress about having to wait until the dog walker gets here to poop.

I am inclined to say to work on him. Get training and give him a chance. You will probably fall in love with him. He’s cute and the things he is doing are all easily curable. My dog now only gives me and Darling Husband hugs and kisses and stays seated when greeting strangers. It took time and training, but you can train it out of them.

Post # 78
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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Post # 79
Member
352 posts
Helper bee

I read this this morning and after reading what happened to Clyde I had to go to the bathroom because I was crying at work. I’m so so SO sorry that his life was cut short. I think it will take some time because it’s wasn’t his time to go, he was taken from you and that hurts so much. Cyber hugs to you and thanks for being such a wonderful person and taking that dog out of the shelter. Clyde would be proud.

Post # 80
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

You’re probably still mourning the loss of your previous pet. My mom is going through a very similar circumstance. Our GSD passed away and everyone was devestated, and then my parents took on a litter of puppies to foster. My dad immediately wanted to keep one, and then it turned out that one was bonded with another. My mom could not connect with either, everything they did wasn’t right, or she didn’t “feel” for them like she did our GSD.

 

Time has passed, and she now loves them both very much. Obviously the relationship is different, but they are very different dogs. She has come to accept that and that’s how she found her bond with them. As for adopting two, the vet bills haven’t really been much different. Shop around for low cost clinics (some pet supply stores have VPI come and do their yearly shots for WAY cheaper).

 

Also, I agree with a previous poster about doggie day care. My mom takes both of the puppies, and I think had they ended up keeping just one daycare would have sufficed. Though daycare is crazy expensive :s

Post # 81
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

Brickette:  

I haven’t finished reading all of the other responses, but I just had to respond to what you said here. “Sometimes I find myself comparing him to Clyde when I know it’s not fair to do that. I want to give Leroy everything he deserves and I just worry if I can do that properly.”

<br />Soon after you went on to describe how affectionate you act towards him. I know that in your mind you feel like Leroy will be getting the short end of the stick, but honestly, after a horrible experience with abandonment and starvation do you think he will actually NOTICE that your love could actually be stronger? And although you don’t personally feel as much of a connection with him do you really think that another family could make him feel like he is getting what he deserves more than you? I’m pretty sure he would do anything for you at this point because he probably sees YOU as the wonderful rescuer who calls him “gorgeous”!

<br />The fact that you feel guilty about not being as bonded with this dog as you were with your last shows me that you are, in fact, a true animal lover and that you could never really deprive any dog of what they deserve. I have been in the same situation so I know what the guilt feels like but I am sure that none of my animals have ever had a clue that there was a past pet who I loved more.

<br />Of course, I’m not trying to convince you to keep him if you actually don’t WANT him. Someone above discussed their frustration about how you mentioned not finding that moment where you realize you want to live with him for the next decade or so. However, I understand that bond and how it can be really important especially when you know that your “true love” rescue could be waiting in any shelter, anywhere. I just want to make sure you aren’t speaking for Leroy by assuming that he thinks he isn’t getting enough out of you because he probably begs to differ.

Post # 82
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

Everyone has given you some great advice but I think the most important thing you need to do is separate Leroy and Clyde. Leroy is a new dog with a new personality, he is someone new and he is not a replacement and he’s not trying to be. It is something that is so much easier said than done but I don’t think that my life would be as full as it is if I didnt have pets. Leroy may not be the dog you want but he may be everything you need in a gorgeous goofy package And he will repay you for saving him.

Post # 83
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I love Leroy!! 

 

he looks beautiful!! Just hold on and see how you feel 🙂

Post # 86
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

This might be a terrible suggestion but it helped my friend 

she got a cuddle clone of her beloved dog and it made her feel better after the loss.  It’s a stuffed animal that is designed to look like their pet

 

for some people, it may not help but she loved it 

Post # 88
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

:(. I’m sorry 

 

 

Post # 90
Member
640 posts
Busy bee

Brickette:  I meant to comment on your other thread about Clyde but didn’t get the chance to.  I also lost a dog (family dog) to a pool accident a long time ago so I know exactly what you’re going through.

My family got another dog rather quickly to fill the void.  While the rest of my family was able to bond with her pretty quickly, it took me a long time.  I felt so guilty loving a new dog.  I never neglected it, but I never went out of my way to play with it like my siblings did.  Looking back, I think I was just afraid to love another dog again for fear of losing it.

I probably took close to a year for me to finally feel like the new dog was part of our family, but once I was finally able to let go of my grief, it was such a relief.  It wasn’t like one day all of a sudden I loved the new dog – this took time and it was kind of funny, because the new dog could tell that she had to win me over, so to speak.  If I was sitting at the table she would come up to me and put her paw on my knee as if to say “I see you and I know you see me”.  She was such a cutie that it was hard for me to ignore her.  I started playing with her more, and taking her for walks and she eventually became “my” dog.

I don’t know if I can give any better advice than the other posters, but I wanted to let you know you’re not alone.

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