(Closed) I don’t know if Mr. A and I are going to make it anymore

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

Lots of hugs being sent to you.

Post # 48
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m so sorry you are dealing with this, I can’t even imagine how awful it must be.  I’m glad he gave them an ultimatum…he clearly loves you very much and is doing the right thing.  I hope it works one way or another. 

Post # 49
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I can relate to horrible futute in laws. I am sending you all the hugs and warm loving thoughts I can muster. And bunches for lil A too. It’s a damn shame that these people are so ignorant to put you and your little angel through this mental and emotional torture. I’m glad Mr. A is sticking up for you two, and am hoping and praying for a good outcome. 

By The Way, I may not be a parent, but I can see quite clearly that you are a fabulous mom!


Post # 50
1859 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@SoontobeMrsA: I am so sorry you are going through this.

I am happy Mr. A gave them an ultimatum. You and Annabelle don’t deserve to be treated like this.


Post # 51
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I really feel for you, inlaws can be awful.

I have been where you have been on some level. Mother-In-Law hated me from day one, DH had always been one of those guys who had a few gfs and never settled down so she always had him. Then I came along and he finally had a serious relationship and he now had another women who he wanted to spend time with. His mum hated that and started a whole shit fight with his family and us.

I just stood by and took it much as you are and never really said anything to DH because it was his family ya know. Well, once he really saw what his family were doing to me he cut himself off from them and he still has nothing to do with them.

Sometimes I feel guilty that he lost his family because of me, and when I tell Dh how I feel he always says that his family are the ones who lost him and I never forced him to do anything. We are now happily married with very little contact with his mum.

So, please please please let your Fiance choose between the two of you. Tell him exactly how you feel no holding back and he needs to choose. Its not fair what theyre doing to you and your daughter. DH cutting himself off from his family was the best thing he ever did for himself and for us, and until they appologise and change their ways he will not talk to them. If you Fiance makes you happy fight woman!

Post # 52
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@SoontobeMrsA: I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but don’t forget your own worth, girl! You are amazing and YOU are Mr. A’s family now. This isn’t a situation where you can just bow out quietly to save Mr. A making a difficult decision. You’re a little too intertwined for that. You are his family and you and your daughter deserve love and respect. His family is bullying you, plain and simple, and I agree that Mr. A needs to stand up for you in this situation. But you also need to communicate with him your needs and your limitations! If you don’t tell him, how will he know? It’s an unfortunate situation, but I agree with what the other bees said–there’s no reason you have to put yourself and your daughter in this emotionally abusive situation. Let Mr. A visit his family while you treat yourself and your daughter to special time together.

Post # 53
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@SoontobeMrsA: It’s good to hear that Mr A stepped in and at least said something. And my heart goes out to Little A. To do this to you is one thing (and I hate that they are doing this to you) but to do this to a child is just… ugh!

No matter what they say, you know you’re not a bad mom. I read your recent post about the autism discovery. I wanted to say something to comfort you, but I realized there’s not much I can say unless I’ve been there. But I can tell you’re a strong woman and you’ll overcome it all. Big HUGS for you!

Post # 54
791 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

This breaks my heart.  I’m so sorry this is happening, and for your daughter to feel this way too. ..that’s just plain awful.  She shouldn’t feel that way, ever.  I’m glad Mr. A has given them the options.  I hope things turn around for you and your family very soon.  No one should ever have to go through things like this.

Post # 55
3628 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

So glad Mr. A made an ultimatum. That is exactly what needed to happen and he did the right thing.

Sending good energy your way!

Post # 56
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SoontobeMrsA: I’m so sorry this is happening. Where was Mr. A when the mom and niece were lecturing you? Would they do such a thing in front of him to you? That is just underhanded. They’ve no business holding court with you like that.

Post # 57
1741 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@SoontobeMrsA:I am so sorry!    But also I am glad that you can see into the future and you can tell how much more damage his family can still do. You’re standing up for yourself and your little darling girl. And you know that you would do it *just* for her.


If he wants to beg his way back, he’d have to cut off all ties with his family. At his age–I don’t think it’s going to happen.


Hugs. What a difficult decision to make, and a painful one, but you did the right thing for you and your daughter.

Post # 58
12 posts
  • Wedding: December 2011

This is horrible.  I need to say this, however.  That is where the “leaving” and “cleaving” part comes in.  He should cleave to you.  He shouldn’t take this attitude from his family.  Actually, he should fight for you.  If your in-laws are acting like that, he should firmly (and with respect) say that it would no longer happen from now on.  That boy is his son.  He should respect his father and his father should act if he is acting in a disrespectful way.


Maybe the in-laws could come and visit you at your house when they want to see their grandchild.  You wouldn’t treat them this way and they are not on their ground.


I keep you in my prayers.  May A give you as a family all the blessings you deserve!


Post # 59
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh wow…they ARE horrible to you!! I just can’t believe people would be that nasty.

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