(Closed) I don't know that I have a groom anymore…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

He’s from Afghanistan?  Was the plan to move to America after the wedding, get legally married in the states, and move him here?  How long have you known him?  Has he ever been to America?  Have you spoken at all to an immigration lawyer? 

I’m sorry that I have so many questions but something doesn’t seem right on his part? 

Post # 4
8435 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time right now.  Maybe he’s just having difficulties finding the right information from the embassy?  I’m not sure you really want to go to Afghanistan or India to get married, you know that women literally have zero rights there and are often considered property right?  Definitely not a situation that you want to bring your children or yourself into.  If you love each other, there will be a way even if it takes a bit longer or a little more work.  Just keep at it, you have plenty of options.

Post # 6
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I am also dealing with immigration in my relationship.

Did you meet both living in a different country? How much time have you spent with him? I wouldn’t want to move to Afghanistan with children right now either, so hopefully he understands that is off the table.

How much advance paperwork have you filled out?

I wouldn’t go to India to get married if the Carribean is what you’d rather. No need to overly complicate things. Does he have any travel restrictions based on his country of origin?

Post # 7
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

This really doesn’t sound right. You’re worried that the wedding is off because of a disagreement? He doesn’t want to make the effort in order to get to the wedding? These sound like red flags. 

Post # 10
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Slightly confused… he’s working with the Afghan National Army? As in, Britain’s sworn ally in Afghanistan?

… they’re friends. Why would the UK stop someone working for a friendly/affiliated group?

Post # 11
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hate to say it, but I think that it is a MAJOR red flag that he is not willing to go to an office and apply for a piece of paper to make your wedding happen…that is pretty much what it all boils down to. I do understand his worry about being judged, I used to work and go to school in Dearborn, which has the largest Muslim population in the country, and I’ve seen my friends from there be exposed to other people’s horrible mindset and stereotypes. But those people are NOT the majority. And if your Fiance is not willing to even try to overcome that fear for you, it really doesn’t bode well for your marriage. I know that must be hard to hear, I’m really sorry you’re in this position.

Post # 13
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
@Wonderstruck:  +1 It just sounds like he’s trying to find an excuse to not get married.

Post # 14
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Something doesn’t feel right about this to because he shouldn’t have any reason to fear passing through the UK, the US or any other country unless he is on a watchlist… I’m probably just overly paranoid about human trafficking, but I’d be super suspicious of a man trying to get a woman and her 2 daughters to Afghanistan or India just because he doesn’t want to apply for a visa himself…

Post # 16
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Where are you planning on living after you’re married? How much time have you spent with this man?


The topic ‘I don't know that I have a groom anymore…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors