(Closed) I dont know what the heck I want anymore! :(

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have no children but my guy and I are still trying to figure out what we want, we go from wanting one to being eh about it.

I will say this.  I used to work with some women who had a child just to please their SO and they were miserable.  They looked forward to work everyday to get out of the house and each of them had to quit what they were doing for a year before they could go back to work.  One of them had triplets so she was super tired all the time (both women were in their early to late thirties.)

Best of luck to you whatever you guys decide.  I think you should perphaps just have another frank talk about it?  It’s surely not an easy decision though. 🙁

Post # 4
Member
4929 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I would never have one just to please someone else. If you have one, do it because that’s truly what the both of you want, individually. 

I would talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn’t bring it up because he thinks you don’t want one. Tell him what you just told us, and see where that goes. 

Post # 5
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Mrs.Jansen: I would tell it like it is to yur husband. My Darling Husband is dying for us to have kids but he doesn’t manifest that desire the same way as me. He is much more anxious and not so into the details of baby clothes/nursary/names as I am (hello, baby crazed freak). I spoke to him about it and said that his lack of visible excitement was worrying me about if he wanted to TTC. For him he said that he knew we were going to have kids together way before we got engaged so it is a forgone conculsion that we would try. In short he is massively excited, but shown in a different way. Your Darling Husband could be the same. I would have a full and frank discussion listing everything you wrote in the post to him and see what he says. 
Good luck- I am sure you two will make the right decision!  

Post # 6
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If in doubt, don’t.

Post # 8
Member
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We started trying because Darling Husband really wants to be a dad. I would have loved to wait another year, or you know, maybe forever.

We’re not old, but not super young either (29 and 30) so I kind of expected the TTC process would take some time and I’d be able to better adjust to the idea of having a baby. Well, I just found out I’m pregnant after our second cycle trying and I’m constantly going back and forth between “It’s cool, I got this!” and “Holy crap, what have I done?!”

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