Post # 1
My Darling Husband and I should be starting TTC in a month or so but I am having anxiety. I am not sure what it is I want anymore and I think he feels the same way. Sometimes he seems excited and other times he wont even want to talk about it. That may be one of the reasons why I just dont know anymore if we should have one. It should be something we both truly desire.
Sometimes we really want to have a baby and other times we talk about how nice it is to have so much free time to ourselves since my kids (from a previous marraige) are so independent and grown. Well almost grown, one is 18 and the other is 11.
I am not sure if my feelings are because I know that kids grow up and are a huge responsabilty. When they are babies, toddlers, pre-teen, it is a piece of cake compared to when they become teenagers and go off to college.
I know I wont regret having a baby, but my fear is that I will regret not having one but yet I still am not sure what to do. I have posted about this before. I am truly uncertain about what I want. I think if my Darling Husband was excited about it and really spoke openly about it, I would not feel this way. ;(
Have any of you bee’s had a baby to please your SO or visa versa?
I hope that I make up my mind soon because I am no spring chicken. Thank you Bee’s for reading my vent!!
Post # 3
I have no children but my guy and I are still trying to figure out what we want, we go from wanting one to being eh about it.
I will say this. I used to work with some women who had a child just to please their SO and they were miserable. They looked forward to work everyday to get out of the house and each of them had to quit what they were doing for a year before they could go back to work. One of them had triplets so she was super tired all the time (both women were in their early to late thirties.)
Best of luck to you whatever you guys decide. I think you should perphaps just have another frank talk about it? It’s surely not an easy decision though. 🙁
Post # 4
I would never have one just to please someone else. If you have one, do it because that’s truly what the both of you want, individually.
I would talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn’t bring it up because he thinks you don’t want one. Tell him what you just told us, and see where that goes.
Post # 5
@Mrs.Jansen: I would tell it like it is to yur husband. My Darling Husband is dying for us to have kids but he doesn’t manifest that desire the same way as me. He is much more anxious and not so into the details of baby clothes/nursary/names as I am (hello, baby crazed freak). I spoke to him about it and said that his lack of visible excitement was worrying me about if he wanted to TTC. For him he said that he knew we were going to have kids together way before we got engaged so it is a forgone conculsion that we would try. In short he is massively excited, but shown in a different way. Your Darling Husband could be the same. I would have a full and frank discussion listing everything you wrote in the post to him and see what he says.
Good luck- I am sure you two will make the right decision!
Post # 7
@Sea_bass: You could be right, we both show our desire and excitment in different ways.
Post # 8
We started trying because Darling Husband really wants to be a dad. I would have loved to wait another year, or you know, maybe forever.
We’re not old, but not super young either (29 and 30) so I kind of expected the TTC process would take some time and I’d be able to better adjust to the idea of having a baby. Well, I just found out I’m pregnant after our second cycle trying and I’m constantly going back and forth between “It’s cool, I got this!” and “Holy crap, what have I done?!”
Post # 9
@iheartnerds: Awww, congratulations. Its funny because I am more nervous now then when I had my daughters. I was 16 and 24 when I had them.
I just want my Darling Husband and I to be on the same page and make things happen. I hate this whole assuming and changing your mind. I know that a baby is a big deal but so is marraige and we did that.
I hope that this weekend, we can finally just decide if we will have a baby or not. I am tired of the yes and no. I need to have a serious talk with him and tell him that no matter what we decide, I wont leave. I will stand true to my vows that for thicker or thin, I am here to stay.