(Closed) I don’t know what to do

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
127 posts
Blushing bee

Calm down and call your doctor. See when they could test you again. You need to bring this up to your Fiance, but not when you are so emotional. Explain to him that for your comfort and health and that this is a must. He needs to get another test done and take his pills.

Don’t yell and scream about it or he’ll be even more adverse to listening to you.

So sorry you have to deal with all of this!

Post # 4
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I can understand why you feel so hurt by this! 

Have you talked to him about this yet?  I wasn’t sure from your post.

I’m assuming that you both were taking antibiotics for the treatment?  If so, is it possible that this bottle was left over from another time when he took the same antibiotics?  How many pills were left? 

I know it’s hard but you’re just going to have to talk to him when you feel ready.  Try to express to him that this was a time when something he did had a direct impact on your health and that you feel hurt that he didn’t take that seriously.

Post # 5
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Whoa. That’s terrible! I’m so sorry this happened to you. For sure you will both need to get the medical issues sorted out, but also it sounds like he has a boundary issue. Try to lay out your boundaries by writing them down and then calmly explain that he needs to respect your boundaries, and that one of your boundaries is that you will not allow yourself to be exposed to diseases. If there is a test that can prove he’s "cured" then I would insist he get that test before you will agree to be intimate with him again.

Post # 6
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree. You need to contact your doctor first of all, and talk to your fiance when you’ve calmed down a bit.

Maybe you could have your doctor explain to him, the importance of taking the entire treatment, and how it can affect you if he doesn’t.

Good luck hun 🙂

Post # 7
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree.  Call your doctor first and speak with your Fiance once youve calmed a bit.

I know you are hurt, but sometimes, guys just dont get it.  Its no excuse, but it is what it is.  He may have stopped taking the pills when you started feeling better…even if the doctor told him over and over to finish the treatment even if its seems like youre better.

I literally have to harass my husband to take his medication.  I have to nag like he is 8 years old and i am his mother.  I have to stand over him and watch him take them…seriously!  Its ridiculous, but I honestly think they just arent programmed like us.

Post # 8
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Everything will be ok ..Why would he not finish the medicine ? and Could it be that he had simply forgotten about it ?Or Misplaced the bottle ?  I may sound a little naive here , but does it say on the bottle that you Must finish it ..I know that sometimes medicine bottles , simply tell you to use till symptons are gone , so maybe thats what happened.  I know it sounds like i’m making excuses for him , but really i don’t think he would deliberately stop taking a medication , that would a) hurt you  and b) hurt himself , because if you get this again , wouldn’t he as well?   I think you should cool down , take some time …and just rationalize this ..Mention tonight when you see him that you found the bottle and ask him why he didn’t take the whole bottle ?

 I don’t think you should run away from him though , don’t believe the worse ..if he loves u , he wouldn’t DELIBERATELY put u ( and himself ? ) In danger . I hope it works out for you ..Let me know what happens !!


Post # 9
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m so sorry you’re going through this :-/

A lot of people are really stupid about medication, especially antibiotics. It took me about a year and a half to convince Fiance that his mom’s medication practices were very, very bad and he should stop doing them. (She has all this penicillin bought OTC in Mexico or something, and whenever anyone has a common cold she has them take penicillin until they feel better. It’s insane.)

Anyway, he might just not get it… doctors say lots of things, and most people ignore a lot of them (exercise several times a week! never eat a rare-cooked hamburger! don’t drink more than two drinks in a night! get those horrid pap smears all the time!), even though doctors are quite serious about the health risks associated with these behaviors… your Fiance may not have differentiated well between the "recommendations" that doctors give all the time that you *ought* to do, and the medication instructions that you *have* to do. I hope that everything turns out alright… call your doctor, and calm down before talking to Fiance.

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