(Closed) I don't know what to do….

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7384 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

You definitely did the right thing. 

Post # 5
848 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

You absolutely did the right thing.

He may not like you right now, but you’re all better off with him alive and not liking you than him dead.

From a mental health care point of view, I would also argue that he did not want to die. Someone who wants to commit suicide will not call another person and confide in them. They kill themselves. He was crying out for help and you gave him that help.

Usually, when the police shows up on a suicide call, they bring the person to the hospital (at least they do here in Canada) and the person can then be referred to the proper specialist for help. I sure hope they did not just leave his house without giving him the proper resources.

You should not feel bad at all. I hope you can see that you did the only thing you could – how would you feel right now if you didn’t call 911… if he died you would have that on your conscience (not to mention that you would have violated the law as well), and if he did not, you would always wonder if things would have been better if you had called.

He may not want to talk to you now, that’s ok. He will come around. Maybe you can keep contact with his wife to see how he’s doing and offer support?


Post # 6
43 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yes you absolutely did the right thing!

Post # 7
3132 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

You definitely did.  I did the same thing to a friend back in college, and she didn’t speak to me for four years.  She very recently reached out to me again, though, and it was to thank me for calling the cops on her.  If he’s as depressed as you say he is, then he’s not in a good state of mind to make decisions about your friendship anyway.  You did the right thing, and he’s just too sick right now to see that.  Hopefully, you’ve started him down the road to finding treatment so he can make a recovery and see that you’re a good friend.  *hugs*

Post # 8
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You did the right thing. No question about it. 

Post # 9
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

100% you did the right thing. His depression is blinding him from seeing how selfish it would be to have burdened you with that information and not act on it. Even if you were not a mandated reporter, imagine how you’d feel if you had not acted, and he killed himself. It’s completely unfair of him to be mad at you, but he’s just not mentally healthy enough to see that. Hopefully he is getting help now.

Post # 10
23 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

You did the right thing, I also have a mental health backround, and it can make you feel so helpless when someone you care for reaches that point. We can only hope that becuase of the police intervention he will get the help he needs, and hopefully someday you will be able to reconnect or he wil lat least thank-you. 

Post # 11
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

You did the right thing. Hopefully he’ll realize that at some point in time. 

Post # 12
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

Yes, you did what you should have done both as a friend and as a professional. Can you talk to his wife and try to come up with a plan?

 Im sure you know that if he confided that to you he is pretty far along and needs help ASAP. As in… its in his best interest to be committed or have something else similarly huge… I have someone on my dads side and also moms side who the family ended up having to help in that way. They are both doing great now. Sometimes we need help that we dont want. And like a PP said, him telling you his plan to kill himself was a cry for help.

Post # 14
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes, you did the right thing. I volunteer on a crisis line, and I am trained to do the same thing you did.


The loss of his friendship is temporary. The loss of his life is permanent. You might have saved his life. Be proud of yourself. He may not thank you now, but he will be grateful later.

good job in a hard situation!

Post # 15
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Everything will be okay, might just take time. Not saying a short period of time. Did he say why he wanted to do it ?

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