Post # 1
My user name says it all. Tonight I put my running shoes on.
Fairly regular bee going anon here. Pretty sad and disappointed tonight. I made plans to go away for an overnight. Hoping and anticipating some much needed romance. Even going as far as to tell him this, in advance. And aside from him enjoying going to the pub, and a very nice dinner he seems to have not had a good time at all. I wanted to go do something Christmas-ish, and as soon as dinner was over….the bitching on and on about how cold it was. Well um, it is winter…..of course it is cold?? I finally gave up and we went back to the hotel. In fact he is sleeping as I write this……
Yesterday I told him that I was feeling not very important in our relationship as of late. We really do on most days communicate well. But somehow, I think this was lost in translation. Damnit, I am fighting so hard to hang on!! Why can’t he see this?
I have not cheated or anything so scandalous. I just hear my heart breaking in my mind. And I am so sad, and feel like I have lost my very best friend. Like somewhere along the way, we have just let go of each other. And I just cry. Because it is not that I don’t love him, it is just I don’t know how to stop myself from going on without him. I don’t know how to find my way back.
I have been feeling like osmething is off for sometime now. I am the type that will go to the ends of the earth to hold things together. I have been looking for an answer and I cannot seem to find one. I don’t know what to do.
I know I am rambling. And probably not making much sense. I am just feeling my way around at this point. I feel for the first time in our relationship something deep has been broken. And I just cry.
Post # 3
@runningshoesareon: have you flat out told him how you feel? In the exact words you used here? If not, I think it might be time to let him know your relationship is in emergency crisis mode.
Post # 4
@runningshoesareon: Are you married? Have you said the words (not hinted arounds), “I dont feel important to you. This is how you can make me feel important, by doing X, Y and Z”
Post # 5
I feel so pathetic. Sitting here crying…trying not to disturb his sleep. Like I would have to explain to him why I am so upset. How can he just go to sleep? He was well aware that I was not happy when we got back to the hotel/
No not married yet. In about 5 months we are supposed to be married.
No I have have not told him is so many words that I am about to leave.
Post # 6
Always trust yourself and your instincts. If something feels wrong, you need to address it. Hang in there. You will be ok!
Post # 7
@runningshoesareon: If he catches you crying and you arent ready to talk about it, just tell him you are reading something online that is making you cry.
1) you owe it to him to be very honest about how you are feeling. Make sure you dont make it all about this one night. Give him many examples of how things arent working.
2) if he is willing to go to therapy and work on things, please post-pone your wedding. You dont need a deadline breathing down your neck. Many vendors will allow you to use your deposit if you rebook within a certain time frame.
3) if he tells you that you are crazy, needy, high-maintanence, etc. Then walk away. It will hurt, but you will survive and be stronger for it.
Post # 8
@runningshoesareon: I think walking away (at least for now) seems to be the right thing. He knows you’re unhappy, I’m sure. But seems not to care? Maybe he’s fine with living life this way, but are you?! Something should definitely be done.
Post # 9
@runningshoesareon: you need to tell him what you have said here. And be crystal clear that you feel the relationship is in crises. Then, make an appointment to see a marriage counselor to help you both.