(Closed) I don’t know what to do…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m sorry your sister isn’t giving you the support you want!  Could you have both of your sisters be the co-MOHs?

Post # 4
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ShutterbugCait:  I may have misunderstood but, is this your 2nd wedding? Was she your Maid/Matron of Honor the first time around?

Post # 5
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Why not have any MOHs? There is no rule to say one is necessary. I’m sorry she is not being as supportive as you would like. My sister got married last year and Fiance and I bent over backwards to assist.  Fast forward a year later, and my sister has been anything but helpful when it comes to our wedding. Sometimes, I think she does things to make it more difficult for us. At first, when I thought about it, it did hurt. Then I just began to ignore her lack of involvement bc I literally don’t have the time or energy to deal with it. Now, I only go to those who I know will help with the wedding when I need assistance. Some people, even family, will never be as happy or helpful as you would like. It sucks, but what else can you do?

Post # 6
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

So sorry about the tough spot you are in.

It really sucks when you expect people to share in your joy but because of their own circumstances in life they are just unable to.

I hope that you are able to not let her behavior ruin this experience for you.

Im not sure what your solution is, I hope you are able to work something out. 

But regardless, please try to do whatever is necessary to enjoy your planning process and your wedding.  This should be a happy time for you, period!

Post # 8
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ShutterbugCait:  To me it doesn’t sound like she should be your Maid/Matron of Honor then. If you think it will be an issue than just don’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor, have bridesmaids and your man of honor

Post # 9
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ShutterbugCait:  Her behavior will only get worse if you made her Maid/Matron of Honor. I like a PP suggestion and say do not have a Maid/Matron of Honor. Or if you do make it your Out of Town sister. If drama comes up, you have every right to say you realized your sister was not very excited and you did not want to burden her with the wedding.

Stand.your.groud.and.save.yourself.future.drama.

Post # 11
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ShutterbugCait:  I think you know your answer, you just need reassurance that you weren’t wrong, and you’re not. Take it from someone who picked the wrong Maid/Matron of Honor because she would have been offended/made a big deal if I didn’t ask her – the drama that has gone on has not been worth the little bit of drama I would have had in the beginning had I just done the right thing. Now, will you ask someone else or just not have a MOH?

Post # 13
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ShutterbugCait:  Well then I think that’s what you should do – man of honor, 3 bridesmaids and if anyone has a problem with it tough cookies. They can do things their way when they get married. I have learned a lot over the past year of wedding planning and it is that no matter what you do someone will be upset, offended, hurt, left out, etc. At the end of the day it’s about you and your Fiance and doing whatever it takes to make the day special for the both of you.

Post # 14
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I haven’t even read all the posts, but from your post and initial response it sounds like she isn’t supportive.  It doesn’t matter to me if it’s your 1st or 5th wedding, but I strong heartedly believe that every person standing beside you and Fiance should support you.  If not, then they shouldn’t be standing there.  It sounds like she should rather be in the audience as a guest.  I don’t mean this harsh, but I just have a hard time of having family especially stand in the bridal party if they aren’t excited or don’t support you.

Post # 15
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Make the Maid/Matron of Honor someone who is supportive.

The topic ‘I don’t know what to do…’ is closed to new replies.

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