(Closed) I don't know what to do about bridesmaids??

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

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jl2017 :  Your sides don’t have to match. There’s absolutely no reason he would ‘have’ to cut down his side.

I think it would be nice for you to have someone with you though – do you not have any family members you are close to? Otherwise, you could look at having your Brothers as ‘Bridesmen’

xxx

Post # 3
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

You don’t have to have anyone and the sides don’t have to match. But if you do want someone up there with you then I think having your brothers like PP said would be lovely! I assume you don’t have any sister or close cousins?

Post # 4
Member
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

you’re picking bridesmaids for the wrong reasons… it shouldnt be what they do for you, its not Maid/Matron of Honor job to organise parties and stuff

if the reason you dont want your oldest, best friend is because she wont spend a tonne of money and time ‘honoring’ you because you made a life decision then you want to reevaluate your own expectations of friends not her ability to be one

Post # 7
Member
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

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jl2017 :  im perfectly calm, you said ‘my best friend is not very loyal’ ad you dont ‘trust her being MOH’ then posted nothing about loyalty but moan that ‘moan bout the responsability of planning the shower’ – thats because its NOT her responsability, if thats all your basing it off then your expectations are the problem

Post # 8
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

What PP is getting at is that it sounds like you don’t want to make your friend your Bridesmaid or Best Man because last time she didn’t want to plan anything, is that right? So, how would you feel about her being a Bridesmaid or Best Man but not having to do anything except be at the wedding on the day in the right outfit? Is she a close enough friend that you would want her by your side regardless, or maybe you’re not really that close anyway? Was did you mean by her not being loyal? (I’m not attacking you I’m just figuring out the nature of the relationship with your friend).

Post # 9
Member
6906 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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jl2017 :  I get you – she bitched about being stuck as Maid/Matron of Honor last time, why would you want to ask her now?  Have her as a bridesmaid though and if she dares to ask, you can tell her you understood she didn’t enjoy the position before and wanted to save her the hassle.  In fact, you don’t need to have a Maid/Matron of Honor at all – there is no obligation to raise one of your friends above the others in this manner.

In the meantime to the problem at hand – if you want even sides, that’s totally okay.  If you want uneven sides, that’s fine too.  I wanted even because if my husband had had his best friends and brothers, we’d have been unbalanced enough to look ridiculous and make me self-conscious about having no friends.  His brothers were sort of vying for not having to be in the ceremony anyway (they’re young, they’re not exactly into weddings yet).  We flipped a coin until we’d narrowed it down (with their blessing).  The other guys were asked to take on different roles in the wedding:  Ushers (e.g. guys who drive guests in ATVs), my mom’s escort, stuff like that.  Is it possible to find other roles for his buddies to narrow down the list a little?

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