(Closed) I don’t know what to do about my awful SIL… any advice?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

She’s going to be in your life forever so really its now or never for you to take a stand. Your FH really needs to talk to her about that. If he’s not “at the point to stand up for you” he needs to get there fast.

Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

You need to discuss this with your husband, and get him on your side. Honestly, if he can’t stick up for his WIFE, then I really can’t see you guys being together forever. A husband and wife are a team, and stand united (unless the spouse is really wrong, but you aren’t, she is!). You need to tell him he has to have your back, or you just don’t see how this can work, and forget about having kids with him, if he can’t defend you when you’ve done nothing wrong.  Sorry you are going through this 🙁

Post # 5
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Fiance’s middle sister is very similar….

she refuses to interact with him and thinks we are both “dead to her”…

she has a huge complex about how he was such a disapointing big brother and how he should have ‘protected her” more?  it is all very irrational… but honestly we have tried and tried and tried to get past this with her and she just wont budge…

so prepare to try and fail at least a few times.. good luck hun!

Post # 6
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

You could be describing my sister-in-law, actually, and I called her out on her behavior. To get back at me, she completely ruined my wedding and turned everyone against us. We haven’t heard from my husband’s family since our wedding nearly a year ago. For us, we’re fine and we’re moving on, though it’s difficult and not the outcome we wanted. If you do call her out, I say just be prepared to deal with the consequences. Try everything you can to deal with the situation before you go to extremes.

I know how much it sucks. I don’t exactly regret what I did because she would have made our lives miserable anyway, but it’s definitely not the outcome that a lot of people would ever wish for.

Post # 7
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I think you will seem jealous.  If you husband will not stand up for you it makes me wonder if he is just telling you he sees it so you don’t get mad at him.

I think you need to just to let it go and distance yourself as much as possible

Post # 8
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I had a VERY similar situation in the past (previous marriage)  I DO NOT recomend standing up to her. This is what I did, it back fired on me VERY badly. Remember no matter what anyone in the family may say SHE is family and you are the new comer.  All of my ex-in -laws said to my face how the agreed she was mean / horrible / nasty  etc. but in the end this was their sister /daughter / neice etc.  I wasn’t.  Be careful.  When I stood up to her finally after years of  abusive behavior (she let her 3 year old daughter grab a handful of my wedding cake before we had even cut it, then told everyone “well what could I do she is only three”) (she also had her daughter who was the flower girl wearing white, play in the flower beds in the garden before the wedding so her dress had big dirt marks all over the front as she walked down the aisle)Well when i stood up to her, the entire family woould have nothing to do with me. They all said they were shocked at my cruel behavior and that this was a side of me that they didn’t know existed.  I had no support from anyone but my Husband but he was afraid to do anything for fear they would turn on him also.  I would say as difficult as it is going to be, you best plan of action is to let it go.  People will see her for who she is and you will look like the angel.  Walk away when she gets nasty and be the better person.  If his family doesn’t see that you are being the adult and she is being a B****.  They won’t see if any different if you lash out at her.  Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hugs and please remember, as a testiment to all the other stories (including Mrs Socks!) that there is no shortage of drama queen SIL’s out there….we are all in this together.

I to am suffering from a bratty Future Sister-In-Law, the insults she makes about my FH, the schemes to get herself front and centre and the manipulation of the family members has been all too much. 

Take solace in knowing that you don’t have to have a thousand friends around you to brainwash to be your friends.  This girl is a lonely mess on the inside, you know it.

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