Post # 1
My Fiance and I are currently living in his hometown. We set a date of July 2016 and booked his workplace as our venue and caterer. We didn’t put a deposit down. But I did book a Day-Of Coordinator and paid her $150 deposit. We haven’t booked anything else yet.
I know my Fiance is nervous to get married in front of the planned 150 guests. He doesn’t like being the centre of attention.
But the other day, he said he wants a much smaller wedding in my hometown on the coast. It’s 13 hours away driving, or 2 hours flying.
I started to check out venues, and absolutely love that we could have a beautiful, outdoors, garden wedding there. And more of my friends and family would be able to make it.
Then, Fiance lands a great contract that pays very well.
Suddenly he wants to stick to original plan of having wedding here. OR have small wedding on coast with my side, and just a dinner for his side in his hometown.
I am quite turned off the idea of splitting the sides up. Weddings should bring 2 families together right? I also think less people would try to make it to actual wedding if they had option of still coming to a dinner.
Has anyone had experience with something like this? I’m so confused and just want to elope at this point.
Post # 2
But we had a ceremony at my church. Then a ceremony at his church. The first is the official wedding anniversary. The second one was more of a vow renewal that is not recognized by anybody but us.
Post # 3
caligirl0011: It’s always hard deciding where to hold the wedding when the families do not live in the same area. One possible solution is to have a venue midway between the two towns. The downside is that everyone has to travel, but it is an option.
Post # 4
julies1949: yeah, I’ve considered that, but I think even less people would make it then!
And I’m allergic to Mosquitos, so having it in my hometown where there aren’t any is ideal. Having an indoor, summer wedding sucks. I wish there was something that could help me/us make this decision easier.
Post # 5
caligirl0011: In My Humble Opinion I would make a list of pros and cons for each location, and see what makes the most sense. You might also want to consider how to make it feasible for the most guests to attend? Or maybe based on cost.
Post # 6
agree with PP. I had 2 weddings but 1 was for family and 1 was for friends. I wanted a small intimate ceremony with family and a big party with friends. It all worked out well and obviously who doesn’t love an excuse to wear the gown again! if its difficult for guests to attend, 2 weddings might be a good idea.
Post # 7
We had 2 weddings, one in his country (and where we live in) and one in mine. We only got married here, not in my homecountry. We had a small wedding and dinner here (25 people) and the next weekend we had a bigger reception and party in my homecountry (100 people). It was ok because this way the whole family could be there. Otherwise it would have been difficult for family to travel, especially my grandma and friends from back home.
Post # 8
I think 1 wedding would be the way to go in your situation – IMO if it is possible to get two families together, it’s worthwhile!
Re: your Fiance worried about being the center of attention, I recommend this article: http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/08/classic-apw-your-wedding-is-not-a-show/
Post # 9
One of my bridesmaids had her wedding in her hometown because her FI’s family was primarily one province over and her grandparents couldn’t travel as far. Their wedding was in May, and her in laws threw a big backyard BBQ type ‘reception’ for them in the summer in her FI’s hometown so that the friends and family who were invited but unable to attend could come and celebrate with them. She loved it because it was a chance to put her dress back on and do her hair and makeup again and get some more photos.
Post # 10
My sister got married here and there was more of our side of the family bc her husband is from overseas. They then had a blessing ceremony there at his parents’ church, which was only those from his side who could not come here. Could you do something like that? Just give yourself time to relax before having to plan the second one.
Post # 11
You can’t have 2 weddings without a divorce in between. It’s illegal in the U.S. Just saying…
Post # 12
Oh and my brother got married overseas and then my parents hosted a blessing and reception here, at his church. If your fiancé insists on just one then honestly the fair thing to do would be to have it close to your family. Otherwise your should have a wedding and a blessing, preferably the wedding for your family first.
Post # 13
Aquaria: I feel like you’re purposely missing the point…you can obviously have as many ceremonies as you choose.
Post # 14
A whole lot of nope. I think you’ll find that people will not be as interested in the second wedding as the first. Really though, do you really want to plan two entire weddings? One is stressful enough. I also think that some people would be offended that they were not invited to your first ceremony because they will consider it your “real” wedding.
Post # 15
- Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm
Aquaria: Woah. What the? This is you and WWAAAAAAAYYYY OVER HERE is the point.