- 9 years ago
- Wedding: December 2017
I am a regular poster undercover. Sorry this is so long..
Me and my fiance have been together for two years and are getting married in November. When we first started dating, he was always so sweet and affectionate. We moved out of town and started living together. Although we fought occasionally about stupid things, we were so happy. We finally got engaged and moved back from where we were orignally from. He now turns his back on me to sleep every night and never tells me I’m pretty, the only time he cuddles me is when he is trying to have sex. Ever since we have been back, all he ever wants to do is hangout with his friends. Every day he goes to his friends house or goes to the bars with his friends, ectect. He has a terrible drinking problem, once he starts drinking he drinks until he is sloppy drunk.
He was helping his boss paint his house and his boss was going to take him to dinner as a thank you. Well, I had dinner with my parents and was waiting for him to come home so we could hangout. He finally calls me and tells me that he is at a restraunt/bar with all his single friends..I get upset that I wasn’t invited and try to talk to him but he gets upset with me and tells me I never let him hangout with his friends and he’s tired of me and he turns his phone off and doesn’t come home that night. He shows up the next morning and sees how hurt I am that he didn’t come home. Of course I am asking questions about where he was and what he was doing. He admits to staying up all night and doing coke with his friends. Then he admits to doing coke a few nights before that when we were hanging out with one of his friends and his wife. (Who his wife has no idea! and has no idea her husband has cheated on her either.)
I have seen text messages that he has sent his friends about me. Like once we ran by my moms friends house to eat dinner and he was texting them that I was “fucking wasting time”. His friends cheat on their SOs and lie and are always talking about other women when their SOs aren’t around. It makes me wonder how much my Fiance is like his friends and if he does these things too when I’m not around.
Then two weeks later he goes out with his friends and does the same thing…he INTENTIONALLY caused a fight with me and turned his phone off and didn’t come home. I later found out that he went to a club with all of his single friends and was dancing with another girl.
Two weekends ago we go with my family to a big music festival where you stay all weekend and camp. He kept telling me all week how he was so excited to spend the weekend with me and how much fun we were going to have. The whole time we were there he wasn’t even hanging out with me..It was like I was a tag along. He kept going from here to there and would just walk and not pay any attention that I was there with him. He went to the bathroom ten million times (wonder why..) and kept wanting to go meet up with his friends. Once we met with his friends, he saw they were drinking and we had to stop what we were going to go get him a drink because he didn’t have one in his hand right that second.
Here’s where shit goes down..
We make it back to where my parents were staying and he disappeared and came back with white rings around the inside of his nose. I asked him what he was doing and what was in his nose and he started YELLING at me! I was trying to hold him so he would talk to me but he was PUSHING me and cussing at me. He walked off and came back with his friends and they were going to help my dad unload some stuff, well we went inside to grab something and we come back and him and his friends are gone. I keep calling him and calling him and he doesn’t answer. Finally I get ahold of him and he says he went with his friends to another camp spot for a second and would be right back. 20 minutes go by and he still hasn’t come back, so I call again and his friend answers the phone and tells me that my Fiance is helping him load something into the back of a trailer and would have him come back once they were done. Well, it sounded fishy to me so I walked over to where they were and found him talking to two girls and laughing and touching one of the girls on the shoulder and arm. I walked up and handed him my ring and walked away. He didn’t come after me, didn’t call, nothing. He comes back to my parents camp site at 4 in the morning! I was so furious! I left that next morning and he asked me to take him with me. The entire ride home he doesn’t say a word. We get back to my house and he gets a pair of shorts and a shirt and walked to his friends house (yeah, the one from the camp site)… I didn’t hear from him the rest of the day or the whole next day.
He finally comes back on sunday and apologizes for everything and tells me that I don’t deserve to be treated that way and he is going to stop drinking and he even apologized to my parents. Everything has been good this week and he has been doing something sweet for me every single day and making me feel like things are really changing. Until lastnight.. He went golfing with the same friend that he left me at the camp site to go hangout with. He left at about 2:30 and didn’t come back home until after 10. I made dinner and everything and he said they still hadn’t finished their 18 holes because he got called to work. When he finally comes home, he doesn’t even say anything and goes straight to the bathroom to take a shower and brush his teeth and change clothes. I got over it and he came to bed and kissed me..I could still smell alcohol on his breath. He kept denying it and won’t admit to it and then he left because he said he was “too tired to put up with my shit” and hasn’t said anything to me today. I don’t know what to do…any adive? What am I doing wrong? Should I just let these things go or should we seek professional help?? I feel like he just wants to be single and party with his single friends now that we are back and he sees what he’s missing out on..