(Closed) I dont know what to do! Help!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would show your fiance first. It seems silly that your mom would get that upset about it after you explained why you don’t want to show her. I would just apologize to her, reiterate what you already said, and let her know she’ll be the SECOND person to see it (even if that isn’t neccessarily true). Maybe she’s just struggling with the idea of her not being your #1 anymore. Maybe take her out to dinner and spend a little one-on-one with her and that will make up for it?

Post # 5
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am confused…you said you told him you want to be the first to see the ring? Do you mean yours? Because in the second paragraph you say your mom is mad that you won’t show it to her when you feel that your promise to let him to be the first to see the ring is more important. Whose ring is she upset about? 

Post # 8
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh ok. Thank you for clarifying that.

I don’t think you did anything wrong. If you made that promise to him, your mother needs to understand. I would just explain that you made a promise to him and after he sees it, she can see it next.

Post # 9
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You are honoring your FI’s wishes, which is a good thing.  Mom will get over it, she’s being manipulative right now and it’s not very nice.  Stick to your guns, it will all blow over soon 🙂

Post # 10
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

If she is acting irrational about this, after you’ve explained that he requested to be the first one to see it (and this is the only thing you have kept a ‘secret’), then I would suggest to just let it go. It’s hard to rationalize with someone when they’re being irrational, and she’ll get over it!

Post # 11
Member
46402 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

When you get engaged, your priority correctly shifts to your Fiance.

Your mother may take some time to get used to that.

Post # 12
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

silly thing for her to be upset about. I say show him first – she’ll get over it.

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