(Closed) I don’t know what to do. (Job)

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Agree with PPs that you’re being shortchanged if you don’t see any tip money.

This job doesn’t sound like it’s worth the stress, IMO, especially if it interferes with the limited time you can spend with your husband.

I vote quit.

Post # 19
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well technically you just still get tipped out. Much like a bartender, or even kitchen staff does. I agree with previous posters as well, quit.

Post # 20
Member
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@SnowPeony: Wanting you to take on more responsibilty without an increase in pay is BS. I can understand you feeling bad about their business but it’s THEIR business – just because they’re having difficulty doesn’t mean you should work for cheap.

I’d say stick with it while you’re finding something else – then you have a chance to look for somethine better AND continue getting paid plus you won’t have to feel like you’ll never see your husband again.

Post # 22
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@snowpeony – well let us know how your talk goes/went, but from your post and comments throughout the thread, it seems real clear that you don’t particularly want to work and just wanted our blessing or something.  I also wonder about the tips, but there are so many other barriers you’ve constructed here against working, concerning language, fuel efficient cars, hours that conflict with your husband’s and so forth.  Know what? That’s what working is! It’s an imperfect world and most of us have to bring in two incomes to make it a little bit less so! You write extremely well and seems you have a good head on your shoulders.  I say the moment your husband lands a new job might not be the best moment for you to suggest he bear the sole burden of breadwinner.  Maybe you should quit this waitressing job, but you might consider finding a different job, like several PPs have suggested.  As for supper made and a clean house… I dunno.  These things, and time for our spouses, get done somehow.  Again, maybe not perfectly with our jobs and all, but they do get done.  And as a footnote — I wonder how your husband will feel if you’re at home all day cleaning and preparing dinner? In my view, makes us a whole helluva lot less interesting (sorry to you bees who don’t work).

Post # 23
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@snowpeony — I just want to say that I read your post a second ago in reply to a bee who’s grieving that her wedding is over (so am I and I think you said you are too)! Anyhow, you’re a sweetheart, that’s for sure.  Maybe I was too harsh on you.  I’m sorry.  But you know — and I don’t know the details — but even the fact that your Mother-In-Law planned the reception, like you say in this other post, and that you seemed to have very little say in stuff, would all change if you put this intelligence of yours to work for you.  Yes, I do mean in a job, one you like and one that pays you what you deserve.  Or maybe more schooling? I dunno enough about your situation to advise.  But could be a self-esteem issue here.  Just something to think about.  As for the post-wedding blues – boy, I wasn’t expecting this AT ALL and for me, it’s 9 months later! I wish I could go dress shopping again, pick out the flowers… I’m losing it…. time for zzzzzzzzz.  G’night.

Post # 23
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

oops! it tried to post twice

Post # 25
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Understood.

Post # 27
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@snowpeony – if only you could read your post objectively, hear yourself dispassionately! My thoughts here may be unwanted, but I seem to have this urge with you (you strike a chord in me I guess), so I’m pressing ahead.  You put everybody ahead of yourself and I fear you’ll regret this big time down the line.  I also believe that doing this will marginalize you as a wife and later as a mother (not sure what kind of model this is for a daughter).  I don’t think it’d be selfish to put yourself first or at least on par with your husband in many areas, especially when it comes to your education and your work.  It seems like a no-brainer when you casually say you let him go to school over you and back off for him to take a job you’d want too! wow.  And you babysit your sister’s son so she can go to work (where is she in terms of sharing the responsibility of taking care of grandma)? So where does that leave you, now and down the line? Beautifully ‘spoken’ and thoughtful and unselfish but carrying only a high school diploma, scant job experience, having lived almost solely in the service of your loved ones?  No one would fault you for the latter choice; not really.  But it’s 2011 and as a woman, as a person, you deserve more than that and should go after it.  I am pretty sure you’d qualify for a scholarship or a student loan.  Sometimes we have to shoulder a little ‘debt’ for upward mobility, especially for an education or even home ownership (mortgage).  Okay, I’ve said enough for one morning.  Forgive me if I’ve overstepped here!

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