(Closed) I dont know what to do, please help.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

You need to tell your husband. He has a right to know. What you did makes you despicable to begin with but nobody has the right to make that call other than your husband. Only he can decide where to go from here. If you’ve already made the decision to move on then fine leave him, but if you decide to stay with him you need to tell him. You are in a marriage, a partnership, you don’t get to make the decision where to go from here if you decide you want to try and make it work. You messed up, not your husband, he is the only one that gets to decide whether he wants to make things work.

Post # 63
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Meealissa: HAHAHAHA!  I would suggest moving to France where a bit on the side is OK 🙂

Post # 64
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Before you cheated, how did you feel about your marriage?

It sounds like you weren’t happy, but didn’t know why and the affair is giving you a good excuse to cut and run. It was a distraction from the real issues going on.

At this point, I don’t think you should tell your husband until you get into therapy and figure out what the affair means–get to the root of why you did it. Once you get a handle on that, you can being to work on the marriage–either to stay in or get out. Once you figure out why you did it, you can make the decision whether you will be honest and tell and let the chips fall where they may, or hide it from him and do your best to be the best wife, friend and person you can be.

You shouldn’t leave until you’ve put in the hard work.

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