(Closed) I don’t know what to do…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Fisrt of all, Congradulatons! If you are indeed pregnant you should be rejoicing.  Next, don’t stress out, you stressing= stress on the baby.  Also, you are right, your parents will not slaughter you.  They love you unconditionally, that is their job. Your parents may be a little shocked at first, but they will realize that it is a blessing and they will be excited that they are going to be grandparents and that will overshadow everything.  Also, you are marrying the father, you love him, and he will be there for you too. 

Remember to just stay relaxed and take it easy.  Since you have had a miscarrage before I would strongly reccomend that you keep it mum until you are past your first trimester.  Now go take a test, call your doctor and tell you Fiance. 

Post # 4
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

First of all, I am sorry for the loss you experienced in October! Second, congrats! In spite of all the confusion and emotions you’re feeling right now, a baby is something to celebrate.

I come from a very conservative family, too, so I understand where you’re coming from. Considering your past miscarriage, I might only tell your Fiance for now. If he was supportive before, I have no doubt he will be again. I know that my Fiance would be my best resource in this sort of situation. Together, you can decide whether you’ll move the wedding up and when/how you’ll tell your parents.

I’m sorry the situation is so complicated and difficult, but know that I’m praying for you! Let us know how it works out!

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Deep breath. Don’t blame yourself. Things happen. Condoms break, pills don’t work, and last I checked, your Fiance was there for this little procreation miracle also

Give it some time. If you really feel the need to, you can move the wedding around. Once you parents get over the shock that their little girl wasn’t as "good" as they wanted her to be (all parents get over it…they want us to be like this and quite frankly it doesn’t work like that in real life)  they’ll be excited about the new little bundle of joy  that was created with love, even if accidentally.

He’s your Fiance. Not some dude you picked up in a bar. Some of us had those good intentions until we met our Fiance, so you aren’t the only one who changed for THE one. But don’t be too hard on yourself

Post # 6
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think before you go any further you need to take a test so you know where you stand now and what your next steps are, i.e. talking with fiance/parents or breathing a sigh of relief. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think its a blessing as well. Were you planning on having kids? And you are getting married…find out for sure and talk to your fiance about it…it sounds like he will be happy since you told him last time. Im sorry you did have a miscarriage last time. Good luck…and I think your family will be happy you never know.

Post # 8
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

Your parents may end up being a little more understanding than you think! My mom always advocated abstinence until marriage (though she isn’t super religious), but when she found out that I was sexually active, she was very down to earth about it. Even my God fearing Catholic grandma was supposedly pregnant before she was married (later miscarried, but my mom thinks it may have been a ploy to get my grandfather to marry her because he was still in love with the wife he divorced because she had cheated on him-). It IS a blessing. Life can’t always be planned. There are a lot of woulda coulda shouldas, but things ultimately happen for a reason. You are having a beautiful little baby with the man of your dreams. You two love each other unconditionally and will soon be married. Maybe things aren’t playing out in the ideal order that you had hoped for, but it WILL work out if for no other reason than for the fact that the two of you have each other for support. Be happy! Get over there and talk to your fiance and have a smile on your face. You are far too hard on yourself. As other Bees have said, this baby was created with love, not by a crazy drunken night out.

Post # 10
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m glad things worked out for you and you don’t have to confront your parents with it but I would recommend ramping up your birth control while you’re at it.  😉

Post # 11
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Glad things worked out … I think I may be in your shoes.  Not positive yet.  I am an encore bride and I have 2 kids already so it won’t be a HUGE shock.

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