I don't know where he is again tonight

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
3689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Sorry you lost me at “his drug dealer has beat him up before”.

Post # 3
1069 posts
Bumble bee

(comment moderated) 

Post # 4
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Oh lord!!!!

Post # 5
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Kick him out and file for divorce 

Post # 6
17 posts

“He comes home wanting sex and becomes aggressive and takes it. Easier to give in than fight.  Next day same thing”

“His drug dealer has beat him up before and he ended up in hospital.  The druggie has shown up waiving a gun around when my husband wasn’t home”

“He’s spending money we don’t have, maxed out our line of credit”

“My doctor wants to hear his side of things and he won’t”


Your husband is a drug addict who rapes you, puts you at risk of violence from his dealer, and is racking up debt. Please leave him, you are not safe.

Find a new doctor who doesn’t request that your rapist attend your sessions. Never go to therapy  with an abuser, he will use what you say against you.

Post # 7
4448 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

You need grief counseling asap. Gl

Post # 8
4768 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

bctoquebec :  this was incredibly helpful 😒

Post # 9
4768 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

oatmilk :  that’s what I thought too, why would the dr want to speak to him?

Post # 10
636 posts
Busy bee

amethystlover :  Given the details of your post, why do you care where he is? Good lord, woman. Did you read what you wrote? Your husband isn’t a catch. You should send his drug dealer a thank-you-for-the-effort card, but let him know he needs to do it right next time. Best of luck to you. 

Post # 12
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m so sorry.

Post # 13
977 posts
Busy bee

I am so sorry you have lost your mum. It must be very hard for you.

I think you are clinging to something that you should have let go a long time ago. You already know what you need to do. If you want to be happy it is time to start a new life. Best of luck bee. Please find some help.

Post # 14
28 posts
  • Wedding: September 2019

I am so sorry for your situation and also sorry you are not getting much support here.

Losing your mom must have been incredibly painful and yes, your husband is a jerk.

Do you have kids? Are you tight to him financially or can you support yourself if you leave? Are there any groups/associations that can support you in this?

Post # 15
122 posts
Blushing bee

First off, I am so sorry about your mom.

Second, holy dear lord, bee, this man is AWFUL. I hope to god you know, deep down, not only do you have a right to be upset, but you have a right to leave this terrible terrible person. “Taking it” when you don’t want to have sex is rape. I whole-heartedly agree with PPs about finding support–please please be careful around this man. I know you may not be ready to leave (logistically, emotionally, financially, etc.) but when you do, I highly recommend looking to see if there’s a moving crew in your area that specializes in helping victims of abuse physically move from their homes. Please feel free to DM me if you need to talk/would like some more in-depth information on anything (especially if you’re in/around Southern California). 

In the meantime, grief counseling. Good luck, bee.

bctoquebec :  Incredibly uncalled for. Wow.

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