- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
So I am having so much fun planning my wedding and I can’t wait to marry my best friend! However, out of everything wedding related, I’m starting to HATE the whole bridesmaid tradition!
Here’s the thing: I don’t really get along well with girls. I have trouble making new friends and I haven’t made any new friends in college. I’m sorta shy and a bit of a nerd so girls always think I’m weird. I do have my best friend, A, whom I get along with perfectly and have been friends with since first grade…so of course I immediately asked her to be my maid of honor. I also asked my friend from high school, M, who I don’t click with like I do A but she is still a very sweet girl. But then there’s everyone else in the stupid bridal party! Fiance has 4 obvious people (best friend, transgender sister, cousin, and other very close friend) so initially I was trying to get 4 to match.
First, I asked my older sister, who should obviously want to be a part of it. We’ve never really gotten along since we were teenagers, but I thought the wedding would help us to get along better. At first she seemed a little excited, but went on and on about how she didn’t want to be the “fat” one and continued to complain and talk about herself. Finally, I straight up asked her if she didn’t want to be in the bridal party, and she said no, she didn’t. I was hurt and stunned but if she doesn’t want to be a part of it, that’s fine.
I asked my FI’s younger cousin as well, who is 16. She is really excited talking about the wedding with her aunt, but doesn’t want to talk to me about it. She is very shy and won’t get involved with any planning. Plus, I feel like she feels awkward around all older girls.
Initially, when I first got engaged, I casually asked my other close friend from childhood, O. Gradually, however, we grew apart and she wasn’t herself anymore, wanting to go out and drink and party with all her new friends, so I figured she didn’t want to be a part of it anymore considering we don’t ever talk.
To replace O, I asked another close friend from high school, J, who was in the same group of friends as my other bridesmaid, M. We kinda fell out for a little bit, and suddenly we starting hanging out a lot again. I liked her a lot, so I went ahead and asked her. But now she is doing the same thing as O, getting new friends and ignoring my existence! She is currently not talking to M for some dumb reason and she doesn’t seem interested in me at all.
My wonderful Maid/Matron of Honor has been helping me arrange all of this, even going so far as sending out messages on FB with links to dresses for them to look at. All of my bridesmaids are ignoring these messages and don’t seem excited about the wedding. I just really really wanna drop all of them and just have my maid of honor! Sorry this is long but I am just so done with bridesmaids and I think its a dumb tradition. Anyone have any advice? I have one piece of advice to all of the newly engaged: THINK before you ask your maids if you aren’t sure!