Post # 1
Over the past week or so my boyfriend has been grilling me every time a ring commercial comes on asking things like “What do you think of that ring?” and “Isn’t that the style you like?” To which I usually answered “No” or said that it was nice but not something I would want to wear for my entire life. Each time these discussions ended with him testily saying that he doesn’t understand what I want at all. Then earlier this week he admits he bought me a ring – almost exactly like the ones I was saying I don’t like.
Cue the tears and terrible feelings and guilt on my part. The ring is just like I said – not my style. It looks like something I might like but just isn’t. While he is disappointed I don’t like it he’s not terribly upset.
Now we get to the awful part. He went to the only jewelry store in town that bills themselves as a purveyor of vintage items (which I said I wanted). Guess what the bottom of the receipt says: All Sales Are Final. Here’s the rub – I don’t think the store was honest with him. This ring is very obviously not vintage. I believe it was part of an estate or estate sale as stated on the receipt, but the style and setting are modern. They told him it was an Old European Cut but I’m pretty sure it’s a Round Brilliant. They also told him it was a 7 (my size) and I can barely squeeze it onto my finger. They also didn’t give him any sort of documentation or certifications! We have a special board on Pinterest with my favorite rings (it’s a small, private one) and they told him this was one I’d like – there was nothing similar to it on there!
I’m so upset. First that my boyfriend went to all of this trouble and expense and had all these special plans and I basically ruined them. This isn’t how I wanted to find out he was going to propose. Secondly that I feel he was lied to and deceived in order to make a sale. I went into the store by myself just to look and there is nothing in there I like. They have an empty setting that might be nice but I’m just so disgusted with all of it.
Post # 2
If it were me, I’d have it re-sized and wear it with pride. Especially considering you feel guilty about your reaction prior to knowing he bought a ring. I think the effort he put into it is really sweet, and that would be enough for me to love the ring. Just my 2 cents though!
Post # 3
take the diamond/center stone and have it reset.
Post # 4
If you are that unhappy then go to the store and talk to them. See what they have to say and maybe they can work something out. Personally, and don’t take this the wrong way, I would keep the ring. He picked it and probably thought it would be ‘the one’. I could never tell my fiance that I wanted to take it back, even if I didn’t like it. I know that isn’t the case for everyone but that is just my opinion. I hope it all works out and you can look forward to the upcoming proposal.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
Maybe it will grow on you?
Post # 7
This is a good idea. The diamond is likely the most expensive part and can be reset into a setting you like.
Post # 8
Take a step back and imagine you weren’t at a point in your life where you were looking at engagement rings. Did you have an idea of what you might like someday? Was it general or did you have every detail down to the prong shape set in stone?
Maybe he thought what he got you was similar enough to what you exactly wanted. They don’t always know the difference. Many guys would say “round stone? Check. Not brand new? Check. Awesome! She’s gonna love this vintage diamond ring (which technically it is).”
Maybe you’ll learn to love it. Give it some time. As your relationship progresses you’ll realize how irrelevant your engagement ring is when it comes to marriage as a whole.
Post # 9
If it’s a final sale and nothing you can do with it, then it’s a done deal. Might as well try to suck it up and enjoy the ring and engagement until you decide if getting a new ring is what you guys want to do.
Post # 10
I agree with having the center stone reset. If not maybe you guys can agree on a point in time when you’d be able to upgrade the ring (5-10 year anniversary)
Post # 11
Oh poor guy….i say keep it. He took all that time to pick it out. He sounds like a sweetheart. Can you post a pic of the ring.
Post # 12
You’re sounding a bit spoiled. He did his best, and now you’re saying that isn’t good enough for you.
That said, don’t wear a ring that’s too tight, it can be dangerous to your circulation. Most jewelers will re-size it for next to nothing….when it’s not causing you pain, it probably won’t be so bad.
Post # 13
Man screws up, man feels disappointed in himself, woman feels guilty that man is disappointed. You sound like a nice person and while you might feel guilty, you really have not ruined anything. He should have done more research, not agreed to a final sale, and paid more attention to the Pinterest board (and maybe grilled you about those commercials before he bought something final sale!). He put you both in this position.
I think the jewelry store would let you exchange your ring for the empty setting (and possibly a discount on his wedding band?) and you can source a stone somewhere else. You can do a lot of bargaining at independent stores if you aren’t asking for a refund.
Or you can keep the ring and emphasize you love the symbolism (be real, he’s never going to believe you love the style no matter how hard you lie).
Good luck, you sound like a nice lady, but yeah, not your fault.
Post # 14
Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. My boyfriend and I are not emotionally attached to the ring. The experience of being surprised is already ruined and we’ve moved past it.
The center stone is nothing special. It has a great color and is eye-clear, but as I said before, there are no certificates and I don’t even know the carat weight. I’m thinking it’s somewhere around .5. It’s also not the shape I wanted (oval). I had also told him how much I would like morganite in the center (it’s pretty and also less expensive).
We’re not keeping the ring. There’s no living with it until I like it and no upgrading further down the road. We want it to be right from the beginning which is partly why we have this problem in the first place.
I’m concerned the jeweler won’t take it back, although I think they should because I think they were deceptive in its sale. And if they don’t take it back, then what?
Post # 15
wow that is so pretty! If it was misrepresented than you should be able to return it despite their “final sale” policy. Be firm. Honestly, I think that ring is gorgeous. Diamond (if it is a diamond center stone) is much stronger than a morganite which will eventually scratch.