(Closed) I Don't Like My Engagement Ring, Among Other Problems

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

Can I just ask whats the harm in just letting your SO know what you generally like?  Couldn’t these unfortunate situations be prevented just by bringing it up?

Post # 32
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

omg i think that ring is gorgeous and is similar to mine. If my now husband was as good at picking out rings as your fiance, I wouldn’t have had to design my own lol.

All joking aside, I have a morganite right hand ring and while I loooove it and think its gorgeous, I don’t think that it is good as a forever stone… too soft/scratches/chips easily and looks dull unless its clean all the time.

I would really consider maybe keeping the stone because it is very pretty and center stones are sooo expensive. I would ask them for paperwork on the ring/stone or ask them to pay for the appraisal because of all the reasons you suggested, and then sell the setting or see if you can find another jeweler that will give you a credit for that setting and have the diamond reset into something you will love.

Also, just my 2cents. I was also unsure of what I wanted, but I did know what I *DID NOT* want. I put together pictures, styles, designers and model numbers of the ones I loved and I made detailed notes about things I liked and disliked about each. I then had my ring custom made. Best decision ever for a picky girl.

Post # 33
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

akamoxie: WOW! I love your ring! If my husband proposed to me with that ring I wouldn’t want to change that for the world! But hey, you can always change out the center diamond in the future for a certificate diamond. 

Post # 34
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

The only leg you have to possibly stand on for a potential return of the ring would be the sizing, and even then, unless the sizing is #1 in writing #2 using a clear, standard measurement (like an actual ring size and not “14mm”) and #3 measured by someone else and proven to be wrong, you’ll have an uphill battle. There is no standardization or regulation on what “vintage” means, and with some of the cut classifications, you may find a stone that falls into the grey area between to classes.  To bypass an “all sales final” agreement, you need to have fact-based evidence that what you agreed to buy was not, in fact, what you actually got, and the only actual fact you might have is the sizing.

That said, I think you and your boyfriend need to sit down and talk about how you can’t have it both ways. You can’t have the fantastimagical element of a romantic surprise proposal without the risk that you won’t like the ring, and you can’t have a guarantee that you will like the ring without you having a much more active hand in choosing it which means the surprise would be a lot less.

My advice would be to check the ring paperwork; if there is any statement about ring size, take the ring to another jeweler, and have it measured.  If there’s a disparity, take it back and ask for a refund based only on the ring size. Nothing else really matters in that discussion.  If the ring is the size they promised or if there is no size listed, then your choices are to have it sized, wear it and look for a custom band which may help turn it into a wedding ring set more like what you’d had in mind; sell it and go shopping together; or reset the stone. And accept that your proposal doesn’t have to sneak up on you like a Ninja. You know he is going to ask and it sounds like he knows you are going to say Yes so perhaps instead of insisting on some pie-in-the-sky proposal, you can plan a romantic event together like a weekend at a nearby B&B or a fancy candlelight dinner on the town.

Post # 35
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

akamoxie:  I don’t think you’re spoiled. Every woman whether they admit it or not have ideas of the ring they want on their finger forever. While this ring is beautiful, it isn’t what you want. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It is beautiful and needs to be re-sized but if you don’t like it then figure a way to get what you really want. If you don’t see an upgrade down the line in 5-10 years, change it now because your ring will be with you forever.

Post # 36
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Yeah, beautiful or not (it is gorgeous), thats not vintage, or really even vintage inspired. Not to me anyway. I would get it appraised and sell it, then give a negative review. I wouldnt want to argue with deceptive sellers, but I would definitely make sure they knew I was not pleased. Maybe you will just have to pick it out with your SO, so you get what exactly you want. PS. morganite is fine, and really is not as delicate as people try to say. I have a morganite in an art deco setting and Ive had it for 10 years, and it looks just as good as the day it was reset. Just make sure the setting you choose protects a good portion of the stone and that its cut very well for maximum sparkle. As far as it not staying clean or looking cloudy, I dont clean it anymore often than I do my diamond right hand ring. Just make sure if you are going to lotion your hands or something to take the ring off first. i believe morganite is sensitive to some oils (?)

Post # 37
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

akamoxie:  while the receipt might say all sales final, maybe you can exchange? My wedding dress was a final sale but they let me exchange. It’s worth a shot!

Post # 38
Member
9220 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

So first off, I think your ring is gorgeous. But hey, I get it. It’s not your style. That’s totally cool and I think all women should wear e-rings that they 100% love.

Now, turning to the whole jeweler issue — I think Horseradish: is exactly right. If you can come in and say “the paperwork says X, but it’s actually in fact Y and here’s the proof” then that’s grounds for getting your money back. All the other “it’s not REALLY ‘vintage'” or “they told my Fiance it was an OEC and that I’d like it based on my Pinterst board” stuff is wishy-washy. Just because a store sells 99.99999% vintage things doesn’t mean that every single item they sell HAS to be vintage, and if it’s entirely your FI’s word against the sales clerk/jeweler’s, then who knows what was actually said when he bought the ring? Now I’m not saying your FI’s lying, just that no one can prove what he was told or wasn’t told. Would a place with top-notch customer service default to “the customer is always right” and try to make you happy? Sure, and that’s what I hope they would do. But that’s not a rule.

And last, I’ll just add that this whole thing with the jeweler is your husband’s battle, not yours. He was the one actually at the store who spoke with the sales clerk(s) on the day of and decided to purchase the ring despite the store policy. So I would leave it up to him to deal with trying to return/get store credit for it.

Post # 39
Member
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

searock:  How is she acting spiked? He asked her opinions of rings on ads before she knew he had bought a ring, so there was no way she’d be able to fake liking it after seeing it, he would always know that she was lieing. Plus, she is more upset that this ring represent her boyfriend being ripped off than something that he lovingly chose.

Post # 40
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Good grief I’ll take It.

Post # 41
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

TheGridMonster:  “Would a place with top-notch customer service default to “the customer is always right” and try to make you happy? Sure, and that’s what I hope they would do. But that’s not a rule. ” 

interesting point is that many customer service methodologies are no longer preaching that the customer is always right. Personally, I hate that phrase. Sometimes, the customer is an ass (not saying the op’s boyfriend is an ass, just a generic customer can sometimes be an ass) and sometimes making the customer happy will cost the business more than what they expect to get back in future business from them. In those situations, more businesses are willing to just let the customer go.

Always good to keep that in mind when you’re in a situation like this, where you’re not satisfied but might not be entitled to having your situation resolved the way you want. It’ll save you tons of frustration if you know when to cut your losses and move in with life.

Post # 42
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would return to the store and at least try for a refund. In the very least, they could offer an exchange but since there is nothing there to your liking, I have a feeling you might be disappointed.

Your guy is probably aware of the risk he was taking when he saw “final sale”. I guess he just messed up. If the ring is definitely not something you can live with and they won’t give your money back, tuck it away and go without a ring for now or try selling it online.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. 

 

Post # 43
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee

akamoxie:  wow, the ring is so beautiful! i don’t see the issue. 

Post # 44
Member
9220 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Horseradish:  My parents owned a small business when I was growing up, so I actually don’t buy into the whole “customer is always right” thing myself. I saw them bend over backward for people who I personally would have just bitchslapped. Unfortunately, I think most consumers still think that “quality” businessse should still roll out the red carpet for them no matter the cost.

Post # 45
Member
10577 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Maybe you can do a store credit and get a ring you like. It won’t hurt to ask.

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