(Closed) I don't like my husband's friend.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

My husband has a friend like that as well. I just give them ‘guy’ time when he comes around…because I cannot handle it for very long, lol. I will politely correct my husbands choices of words around him too…I do it subtlely.

Post # 4
Member
4690 posts
Honey bee

My FH had a friend for years that I absolutely couldn’t stand. He was horrible to his girlfriend of 2 years and cheated on her (and everyone knew) and was a royal pain in the behind to FH. He didn’t work or go to school, so he played video games he bought with his parents’ credit card until 4 or 5am. Then he’d get mad when FH didn’t want to stay up and play too, because he had to work.

FH eventually figured out that this guy was toxic and broke off the friendship. Your hubby will hopefully realize for himself that this guy is no good and he needs more adult friends. 

Post # 5
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’d tell them both to stop acting like morons trying to impress each other. You won’t get a favourable response BUT they won’t want to be called out trying to look ‘cool’ in front of each other again, so it’ll probably work, they just won’t love you for saying it.

My FH’s best mate used to be able to sway his opinion pretty easily (not about anything important, but it bothered me that he wouldn’t stand up for his beliefs). I think I just said that he should grow a spine and be himself, friends are meant to like you for being yourself, not because you’ll agree with them. It worked, he says what he really thinks now and their friendship is no worse for it.

Post # 6
Member
3831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I dont like my FI’s brother. I simply avoid him.  FI knows i think he is an idiot. But that doesnt necessarily mean i need to “drive a wedge” between them. FI can make his own decisions. 

Post # 9
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I would have this one thing… if he want to hang out with J then go out. Make a date on the phone, but don’t “talk” on the phone. It’s just because I feel that they’re disrespectful SOB’s (how they talk, the vulgarity and the teenage girls thing) I wouldn’t want to hear another word coming out of his mouth that sounds like that. Do it elsewhere…

Post # 10
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you aren’t comfortable with the friendship the best thing you can do is avoid the friend.

Maybe your hubby will wise up and break off the friendship, but that is only for him to decide.  Always good to feel comfortable around the friends prior to the wedding 😉

Post # 13
Member
4282 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Acting a little immature is fine, but if the language bothers you (it would really bother me!), I would point out to him that it’s disrespectful (and bigoted) and just because J talks like that it doesn’t make it okay. You can’t influence J’s word choice, but you can make your husband think twice about speaking like that. He should know that it’s crossing a line.

As for not liking J, just try not to hang out with them when they’re together.

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