Post # 1
My fiance proposed to me back in March with a beautiful engagement ring. I love the ring dearly; he did an excellent job picking it out. Because of the awkward design of the ring, it came with a wedding band. I tried it on back in March and didn’t think much of it (I was still on my "just engaged" high). But I tried it on last week and my heart sank–I didn’t like the ring at all. I have little sausages for fingers and the wedding band is even thicker than the engagement ring. It is also asymmetrical (which really bothers me).
I’ve tried talking to my fiance about this–but it seems like he secretly despises me for disliking the band. This breaks my heart–he did such a great job with the engagement ring and he really didn’t even pick out the wedding band, it just came with the ring.
This is something that I will be wearing t he rest of my life and I feel like I should LOVE my wedding band. Should I just suck it up and wear it…or keep at the subject with my fiance and design my own wedding band? Also, the wedding band is about a size larger than it needs to be (perhaps this made it look more awkward)–should I bother to get it resized?
I feel sick to my stomach. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Post # 3
Maybe you can get another wedding band and wear the one that came with your engagement ring on your other hand? You could have a Mrs. Avocado thing going on with your rings! That way you can still wear the band your fiance bought you and one that looks better with your e-ring.
Post # 4
I had to have a band made to go with my ring. I liked the band, but when I put it on with my ering I hated it. I thought it looked to wide, didn’t match etc.
Getting another wasn’t an option, so I considered that maybe I just wasn’t used to seeing my ering with the bad- I love my ering by itself.
So, secretly, when my Fiance was out of the house I would wear the 2 together- to get used to the band. After a few times doing that, the band really grew on me. Now that I’m hitched, I love the way they look together and think that the band really compliments the ring.
Depending on how much time you have, do you think it’s possible that it may grow on you if try getting used to them together? It might be worth a shot if it will save your Fiance any hurt feelings (and save you the time and $ of getting a new one).
Post # 5
honestly, the ‘tradition’ to wear 2 bands is bad…my jeweler says that you should never wear 2 rings together, bc they slowly wear each other down…which can even lead to loose stones…does this argument help you? It doesn’t get you a new ring, but you could just wear one or the other after the wedding (just make sure to sometimes wear the band)…brides to be notice e-ring vs 2-rings, but no one else would
Post # 6
Since he seems to take it personally…I’d probably wear it for a year and then decide. You could then argue that you still would love another band and get the change for an anniversary gift.
Post # 7
I assume that the reason the wedding band is asymmetrical is because it is meant to be soldered to the e-ring? If so, then together they may look fine. If the issue is that you just feel like it’s too much ring for you, then you actually may get used to it. If you just seriously don’t like the design, I agree that you should have something else done. I doubt that your Fiance "despises" you for disliking the wedding band – he is probably just disappointed, and feels like he let you down somehow. Plus, if you are just expressing (as you did here) what you don’t like about the band, he may not know what to do.
I would figure out what it is that you want for a wedding band, and show that to him. Remember, especially if you don’t like the look of more than one ring, that you can just use the e-ring as your wedding band. Or you can do what I’ve been doing most of the time since the wedding – wear your e-ring on your right hand, and the wedding band on your left.
The other issue that your Fiance may have is that if the rings came as a set he may not have had any choice but to buy them as a set. And, the wedding band is probably not returnable. So whatever he paid may feel like just money down the drain at this point. If you go to a jeweler who does custom work you may be able to "trade up" to a different ring. We had our rings custom made, and actually had to take my wedding ring back three times before we were happy with it. First it was too thin, so that it didn’t really match the e-ring. Plus, the channel set diamonds were just a little off, so it looked not quite symmetrical. After they recast it and reset the stones, it was actually a little too thick (I was feeling like Goldilocks by this point in time.) Luckily, the third time it was just right… and also, the jeweler charged us only the extra gold to make the ring thicker. Given the current price of gold, it was reasonable to reuse the gold from the first ring. And since they were the ones who made the ring in the first place, they didn’t charge us for the rework. You probably won’t get off that easy financially, but I agree that since you are theoretically going to wear this ring for the rest of your life, you should be happy with it.
I should also say that we did get married with the first (too thin and not symmetrical) ring. I also felt kind of bad about saying that it wasn’t quite right. I ended up wearing it for about a month, on the theory that if it still didn’t look right at the end of that much time, it wasn’t going to ever look right. Plus we were trying to sell his house (moved into mine after the wedding) and since we weren’t sure how much it would cost to have the ring redone, I wanted to wait until we had the money from the house. I do think it’s not a bad idea to give it a little time to see if you end up liking it any better, especially if the cost of another ring is a concern right now.