Post # 1
I posted a while ago asking for advice after I found out my fiance was going to propose with a vintage opal ring. We did get engaged 5 days ago and I am so happy about our engagement, eccstatic really! I have been wearing the ring every day since and seeing if it will grow on me but I just really don’t like it, plus I’m super worried that I’m going to end up damaging the opal. Every time I bump my hand against a desk or door frame I feel this wave of panic!<br /><br />The setting is really outdated on my opinion and I have always dislikes bypass ring settings, and really large bands. I do appreciate the yellow gold and I love opals, but its not something I ever wanted to wear an an e-ring for the rest of my life. It honestly reminds me of a ring my grandmother would wear. I know my fiance doesn’t want to spend a lot on a ring and this ring was affordable for him, but I still would have preferred even just a plain thin band or one with some small diamonds for me to wear until we can afford something larger in the future. Gemstone rings really aren’t my thing and I would honestly be fine with a small CZ ring until we can afford an upgrade.<br /><br />I can’t get a decent picture of it myself for the life of my so I’m adding the pictures from the etsy shop were my fiance bought the ring.
I don’t know what to tell him. I know its too late to return the ring since he had it longer than a week before he proposed to me. Should I just live with it? I’m still afraid of damaging it and I don’t want to have to only wear it for special occasions? I want an e-ring to wear all the time and for me to look at and love, but am I being overly selfish and inconsiderate? I just don’t know…
Post # 2
In your place, I would say that you’re afraid of damaging the opal through everyday wear because opals are so delicate (which is true), so you want to wear it as a special occasion ring while wearing a simple band with CZs or small diamonds every day. This is a scenario where I don’t think it’s bad to tell a white lie to avoid hurting your guy’s feelings instead of coming right out and saying you don’t like the ring.
Post # 3
I would ask if he would be open to you resetting the opal, especially if you paid for the new setting. How did you know he was going to propose with the opal? Did he tell you beforehand?
Post # 4
How much was the ring according to his budget? Did he spend all of his budget, half of his budget, etc? Is there enough left to get another ring and not put him out? Maybe you could contribute to the new ring?
Did you say you wanted an opal and yellow gold? Or did he just randomly pick it?
Post # 5
Thanks, I’ve thought a lot about doing that. I’m thinking about emailing the original seller of the ring and asking if he would consider taking the ring back even though its past the return date in exchance for credit towards another ring in his shop? But then maybe I should keep this ring and find some more money to buy a completely new ring. He has another ring in the shop thats rose gold with a 1/3ct. diamond that I love. But maybe that would just be too rude to email the seller?
I hate this icky feeling of nto knowing what to do and feeling guilty ):
Post # 6
I’d definitely check if the seller would accept an exchange, it’s worth a shot. Sorry you don’t love your e-ring, Bee. 🙁
Post # 7
He told me it was an opal in yellow gold because I kept pestering him after I knew he had received the ring. I’m the type of person who doesn’t really love surpirses so I preferred to have an idea of what I was getting. I did not ask for an opal, but he knows I love opals, which I do. I love opals. But not to wear in rings and not as an e-ring. I did suggest to him that I would like yellow gold and I like the center stone to have diamond accents on the side. Thinking about it now maybe I never made it clear that I wanted a diamond as the center stone, but I guess I just assumed he would know that?
He more or less randomly picked it, but he did so knowing that I like opals, which is something that I appreciate and find sweet. I am not sure 100% of the cost of the ring but from looking at the other rings from the same seller I’m estimating he spent $200-400 on it. He could for sure afford more, but we always agreed we would opt for more affordable rings. His budget is probably up to $1000.
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2017 - Red Rock Canyon, Las Vegas, NV
Firstly, congrats on your engagement! That’s so awesome!!
Normally I stick with the “if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything” but I have to say that I don’t blame you. Do you know how much he paid or where he got it? It looks to be a late 80’s or early 90’s design. I would tell him. Your ring shouldn’t be just any random ring he can afford. It should require some thought. I’m sure there were much better options in that price range. He could get a sterling silver CZ ring for about $50. Or something nicer like this…
The the other option is to get it reset into a solitaire.
Post # 9
Thanks for your words ): I think the seller might go for it because he would stand to make money off the new sale. I would totally be willing to cover the difference in the price of the new ring if that was an issue for my fiance. The one I like is around $500. But I also am not sure if my fiance would be hurt by me returning the ring he spent time pickiing out for me.
Post # 10
The ring is from etsy, and I don’t know the exact price. Maybe $200-400. The etsy page says its a 1950s vintage ring, but I don’t know how they could be sure of that?
Post # 11
You don’t know what to tell him? Try this:
“We did get engaged 5 days ago and I am so happy about our engagement, eccstatic really! I have been wearing the ring every day since and seeing if it will grow on me but I just really don’t like it, plus I’m super worried that I’m going to end up damaging the opal. Every time I bump my hand against a desk or door frame I feel this wave of panic!”
Congrats on the engagement! Keep in mind that HE is the keeper and the ring is the keepsake, and, typically, an e-ring is never the last keepsake he’ll give you.
Patience, Grasshopper. 😉
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2017 - Red Rock Canyon, Las Vegas, NV
Some opal ring inspiration from Etsy. LOTS of modern and beautiful settings to choose from….
Post # 13
I second Grid’s suggestion of asking for a return from the seller. You could tell your Fiance that you are so pleased that he remembered that you love opals, but that you just found out, while showing your ring off, they are not the best idea for a ring that will be worn every day. You are concerned and wonder if he thinks it is possible to exchange.
Congrats on your engagement!
Post # 14
I think I understand how you feel about this ring, I also love opals and I think it’s beautiful, but I would never feel comfortable wearing an opal ring period, much less as an engagement ring.
I think the sooner you talk to your Fiance about it the better, it’s a beautiful ring, but not versatile enough to represent your love every day!
Post # 15
Thats a hard situation. I can absolutely see why your not the biggest fan of it, it does look a bit dated. I second emailing the seller and seeing what they can do.
<br />Did you ever discuss erings and what your style is? That is a very unique ring…..so unique that unless specifically requested I’m surprised he would just buy it, and hope its your taste.