(Closed) I don't like the e-ring ):

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s definitely a tough situation 🙁 I would at least talk to your fiance (eeee congrats 🙂 ) about it and see how he reacts and what he thinks.

Post # 33
Hostess
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2007 - City, State

I would definitely talk to your Fiance first. Just let him know while you love that he picked out a ring on his own, it isn’t your style at all. You would really lime a diamond center stone. Than email the seller for sure. I’m sure they would let you exchange it with them. 

Post # 34
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Awww, it’s sad because it does sound like he was being thoughtful and trying to get something that he thought you would like. Guys are clueless and sometimes even though they have bits of info (she likes opals, and yellow gold) they can’t always put it together in the right way.

I def would NOT talk to the seller first. Just tell him the truth.. (sort of) lol. Tell him you’re worried about it getting broken and you’d like to get a different ring for every day wear. Personally I would not offer to return it.. ask him if you can keep it and get one for every day wear. Don’t return it, it’s the “real” ring he proposed with and even if you don’t like it he picked it out and put thought into it. 

Post # 35
Member
58 posts
Worker bee

just say you lost it and go buy a temp ring? and then magically find it in the back of your closet

Post # 36
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee

Is 1980’s considered “vintage” now? because I have a few rings in that setting… I feel old now, haha.

Post # 37
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Boettcher Mansion

Honestly, I think he’ll be able to tell if you don’t like the ring… It’s kind of like when you buy your guy a shirt in a color he doesn’t like, he tries it on, you smile, and then he never wears it again! 

I’m sure he wants you to love your ring, and that’s why he tried to pick it out so carefully. I would definitely hinge on the idea that you just found out (which you did) that opals are really fragile and often break with a lot of wear, and that diamonds are usually what women wear in rings because of that fact. Let him know that you are scared to wear it because you’re afraid it will break, but that the symbol of his love for you is something you want to wear everyday, so you’d like to pick another ring out together. Don’t be surprised if he wants some time to save up in order to get you another ring, and offer to give up your current ring in order to help pay for another one that you can wear everyday. 

I guess the take-away here is to really emphasize that it is the symbolic nature of the ring that matters most to you, and not the ring itself. When my FH and I first got engaged, he got me a very small ring with a white sapphire center stone. I wore it everyday and I did like it a lot, but then when we were spending time with friends that were engaged or married, he noticed how my ring compared to our friends’ rings and decided he needed to get me a different one that he felt was comparable, and now I really, really love my ring! Sometimes it just takes some time to find the perfect ring, and a placeholder ring in the meantime is okay! 

Definitely talk to him about it, though, and emphasize that its something that you want to wear everyday without worry because of what it means to you and what it symbolizes for the two of you. 🙂

Post # 38
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
wonderous:  People have suggested getting it reset, which would be an option — even if you wanted to keep it as a RHR.  

What are your feelings on bezel settings?  A bezel would help protect the opal from daily wear and tear – and  also keep a tempermental stone from falling out of the setting — a very real concern with opals.

Actually, the tempermental stone angle could work for you if you are concerned about expressing your desire for a new ring to your FH …

Edit: saw you don’t like bezel settings … so maybe that’s not a go.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by owlette22.
Post # 39
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Congratulations on your engagement!

First, I am a little shocked you did not tell him what you wanted and that he did not listen in case you did.

But I am not here to judge, everyone do their thing differently. I think your ring is unique and has a nice romantic mysterious feel to it. If the ring really is out of return date, that is tricky. I would probably just discuss it and tell him that I am worried about damaging it in day to day life routine. I would ask if it is okay for you to store it in jewerly box and keep it for holidays and special outings. Then, I would look into getting CZ ring that is not as expensive that you can wear daily. That is the only way I see out of this, but did not read any other responses.

Post # 40
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

You could also go to a custom jeweller and they could take your stone and your gold and turn it into a setting that works better for you. My jeweller changes up rings for people all the time. Then it still has the essence of the original ring but its more your style. 

Post # 41
Member
545 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think I would trade it in. You really only get one shot at the ering. Keep it for very special occasions and maybe find something simple for a place holder. If budget is the concern, perhaps you can find something beautiful that you both love and get it as your wedding ring? You can wear the opal as a RHR or in your bouquet onyour wedding day. 

Post # 42
Member
247 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
wonderous:  I was in a similar situation. I ended up telling my Fiance. As long as you approach it gently and don’t come off as unappreciative, I’m sure he’ll understand. (My Fiance actually had a back up plan in case I didn’t like it. Like you, it was also a vintage ring and more unusual.)

Post # 43
Member
500 posts
Busy bee

That ring would make a PERFECT right hand ring! (FWIW, I love that style – I’m a late 80s baby!) I think I would tell him that you love the jewel and that opals are soft so you’d like to switch over to a small diamond for when you get married, and use your opal as a special occasion ring. 

Personally, I wouldn’t tend to break it to him while it’s so fresh. I would let him drift in bliss for a little while and let it come up naturally after he sees/hears you smack into something. It’s obvious that he did earnestly try to listen to you and choose something that you would like. Though, you know your guy best… I think mine would be heartbroken because he puts so much feeling into things like that. Maybe your fiancé (congrats!) is less sentimental and you could just tell him straight up and it wouldn’t bother him. I would just try to get into his shoes and imagine how he would feel and respond.

Post # 44
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

View original reply
wonderous:  First congrats on your engagement. Reading these posts…no one is wrong in what They say to do. Only you know your guy and how he’ll react. My husband let me pick my ring because he wanted me to have what I wanted (Within reason lol) and I’m sure yours does too. So speak up or forever hold your peace. Good luck!

Post # 45
Member
5987 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
wonderous:  Gorgeous ring, Fantastic Fawn is right.  Just say you don’t want to damage the ring.

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