(Closed) I dont love my fiance

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

End the engagement. If you don’t love him, don’t stay with him. Your parents will just have to get over it. 

Post # 3
5858 posts
Bee Keeper

seraphine86:  I’m confused. He left his girlfriend to be with you? If this is the case, you don’t want to be with him, that kind of behavior repeats itself. As for your parents, they don’t pick and choose who you can be married to.

End the relationship. period.<br />

If you don’t love him, don’t stay with him.

Post # 4
1985 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t marry him!

Post # 5
481 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m assuming you’re an adult (if you’re a minor, correct me). As an adult, your parents don’t really have anything to do with your decisions. To be married to someone you don’t love would be terrible. It wouldn’t be fair to either of you, and it will lead to a nasty divorce.

My only comment on his texting your mother about your behavior is that he sounds immature and probably isn’t ready to be married in the first place.

Break it off with him before it’s too late. You deserve to be with someone you love and treats you with respect, and he deserves the same. Like a PP said, your parents will get over it. If they don’t, that’s their problem.

Post # 6
5238 posts
Bee Keeper

seraphine86:  May I ask what your cultural background is? Is it normal in your culture for your parents to have such a large part in the decision making process of who you choose as a partner?

DO NOT marry this man. It sounds like you will be setting yourself up for a lot of misery if you do. It will be easier to deal with disappointed parents than with a bad marriage.

Post # 7
6076 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

End the relationship.

Post # 8
794 posts
Busy bee

Yeah, don’t get married. It seems like a no brainer. Be fair to him and fair to yourself. Let him find someone who will love him and go find someone that you love. Better to face the potential wrath of parents than to be unhappy til death do you part.

Post # 9
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Your guy squealed on you to your parents?  Who the hell does that?  Seriously, be an independent woman and leave this jerk. 

As far as your parents go, they are doing you no favor by telling you they’d never accept another guy in their home.  Tell them if they don’t accept a new guy, they’ll never see their grandchildren.  That alone will probably get them to change their minds!

Your happiness is what matters … not theirs. 

Post # 10
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

seraphine86:  This sounds like something off the Jerrey Springer show….

Sounds like you want out of that relationship. I suggest now rather than later. Do both of you the favor. Your family will get over it.

Post # 11
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

seraphine86:  So the only reason you are staying with this guy is because your parents wont ever accept another man in your life. You have two choices…

1) Keep your parents happy, while slowly killing your soul, and stay with him. Suck it up and make the most of it. Once your parents are dead, maybe you can divorce him. But that will be decades (and possible many children) in the future.

2) Make yourself happy and leave him. Accept that your parents may alway be upset, but you dont have to live with them every day for the rest of your life. Accept that as an adult there are times we will make choices that anger or diappoint our parents, but utimately we have to do what is best for us. 

Post # 12
7736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

seraphine86:  Please, please, please end the engagement. This man is no good for you at all.

Your parents’ attitude is rotten and disgraceful. As a mother, I can’t comprehend it. I want my children to be happy. I believe they are bluffing. If you meet another man, they will eventually accept him. but even if they don’t, you can’t let your parents dictate your life.

When it comes to marriage, you must do what pleases you, not what pleases your parents.

p.s. Is this an arranged marriage?

Post # 14
5858 posts
Bee Keeper

seraphine86:  It still kind of sounds like he broke it off with his girlfriend to be with you.

Post # 15
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

seraphine86:  my parents said that too when I was young and broke up with a long time bf. And guess what, they love my Fiance and are completely supportive of our upcoming wedding, even though it is not my first marriage! Parents are people too and don’t always say the right things. Do what is right for you. You will realize one day that most parents just want their kids to be happy.

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