(Closed) I don't think anyone can help me, but it's worth a try!

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

Have you thought about talking to a therapist? There are therapists that specialize in that kind of thing.

Post # 4
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

post to read later.

Post # 5
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

This is definitly isn’t normal just because it’s a drastic change in your drive. I would consult a doctor there may be a medical reason for this. Clearly it’s important it gets adress for the sake of your sex life.

Post # 6
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Are you on hormonal birth control pills, by chance?  I noticed when I came off the pill my drive went through the roof!  Also, you could be having hormonal imbalances and talking with your women’s health provider might shed some light. 

Post # 7
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Are you on hormonal birth control?  They can totally mess with your sex drive, so if you’ve recently started it see if you can try a different type which will hopefully sort it out.

Post # 8
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@leafgum:   Up until recently, I only had 3 vagi o’s in my life. And my son was created outside of those three lol ( That’s a completely different story lol) I think when you already KNOW in your mind that youre not going to O or its not going to make YOU feel good then you lose all motivation. What ive been doing how is REVERSING the scenerio. Instead of making sex ALL about ME, I make it a goal to make him ‘GO” to the best of his ability. I amp myself up by like talking dirty in my head, sometimes we watch porn together as well. I find that foreplay helps ALOT! 

Post # 10
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Are you guys having sex alot? I know we were and I lost my mojo QUICK!!! Try doing it sporadically (  I know this is hard for guys) and see how that helps

Post # 11
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

i also really have no drive whatsoever. 🙁 i really have to work myself into wanting it, and even when i do it’s not like i “have to have it”.  wish i could give some advice… for now, i’m just kind of forcing myself to have sex more often in the hopes that “the more sex you have, the more you want it.” lol we still only have sex maybe 2 times a week.

 

ETA: i’ve also only had clitoral O’s. we use a vibrator during sex to get me there, and it works about 75% of the time! that way it isn’t like i have to be “finished off” after sex, which usually wouldn’t happen lol.

Post # 12
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I felt like this recently…and I think  for me it’s part stress-fatigue-migraines…and part birth control pill. From reading other posts I have went off the pill and now we only use condoms. I feel like my drive has come back quite a bit.

Also…clitoris: I’m not sure what you do exactly during sex of course 🙂 But things really improved for me when I decided to do what is neccescary for me to have an orgasm. This means:tmi: not being embarassed to stimulate myself during sex, my husband waits for me to be pretty much having an orgasm before he finishes ‘the normal way’ with me…also, don’t be shy to tell him exactly what you like: touching breasts etc.

Of course these things come after you have your sex drive back. But know that it happens often, and also that not a lot of people have an orgasm with no clitoral stimulation.

I also find on vacation, camping etc I am much more in the mood…I geuss for me, being at home equals thinking about my job, chores etc…it could jump start things for you to go away, even just for a night.

good luck!

Post # 14
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Back reading this with more detail….I think you need to completely change the order of things: you need to have an orgasm before sex is over….stimulate yourself or he stimulates you…during, and as you climax he finished too. I have found this to be far better than being the only one finishing at the end, as an afterthought.

Post # 16
Member
1095 posts
Bumble bee

@leafgum:  You shouldn’t be forcing yourself to have sex so frequently “for him”. I agree with MrsGrayIndy that you should try to have sex more sporadically  to make it not so “routine” and more spontaneous. It sounds to me like you need to work on developping intimacy with your husband, maybe see a couples/sex therapist?

ETA: Btw, Lots of women can only have clitoral orgasms, don’t beat yourself up about it!

The topic ‘I don't think anyone can help me, but it's worth a try!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors