Post # 1
I haven’t found a venue yet! Is this the most stressful part? Please tell me it is.
I have been researching venues for a month now. In three different countries. My hometown (where Fiance and I live), his hometown overseas, and we previously considered a complete destination wedding somewhere different.
At the moment we are leaning towards his hometown because we thought it would be a bit cheaper than here (which it is). But it is still so expensive!
This place we are looking at is pretty nice and although its not perfect I would be happy to party there. It’s a surf club though and they provide NOTHING. They still have a venue hire fee that is $1300. Everything is on top of that, and I mean everything. Bar staff, tables, chairs, decorations, beverages, need to bring in caterers. All hire equipment needs to be out THAT NIGHT. Wtf. So a wedding co-ordinator needs to be hired – I don’t want to rely on my family to help with set up or pack up.
They have sent me a bunch of vendor contact – equipment hire, caterers, wedding organisers etc. So I am trying to get quotes of all of them.
I just want to know how much it is going to cost me to just have a room that is set up for a wedding with basic decorations. I think its going to be about $4k. Plus drinks. Plus food. Argh. The thought of spending this much money makes me sick.
I am in tears trying to figure this out today 🙁
Post # 2
I think finding the venue is the first part, but if the venue is already stressing you out, then keep looking. You and your Fiance will find the one and it’ll feel right!
Post # 3
It took us a while to find a venue also but after picking the venue everything else just seems to fall into place.
Post # 4
I can’t really say that chosing the venue was the most stressful part. I think the most stressful part about wedding planning is dealing with everyone else…and their opinions.
I would prefer going with a venue that has a lot already there. Our venue has food/drinks/chairs/linens/centerpieces. Also, the ceremony and reception is all at one place. I prefer things this way….it has just made things easier.
Wedding are crazy money though…..we have been fairly frugal and haven’t splurged on expensive things, but it’s still close to 20k. It’s insane but everything adds up so quickly. It’s scary
Post # 5
If I hadn’t already booked my venues before, I may have done what my colleague suggested and that’s have a destination wedding at an all-inclusive resort! Alcohol, food, venue all included in your package…genius.
Post # 6
By The Way, it’s very ambitious to have a wedding under $5k, even under $10k is not easy! Words of advice are to keep the number of people down and/or cut out alcohol. Those two are the killers to a budget.
Post # 7
I can’t really speak to your situation, but yes booking the venue was my most stressful part (so far). We’re paying for the wedding ourselves and live far enough away from everyone where we aren’t bombarded by a million different opinions, so fortunately that’s not an issue for us.
We also looked at venue options in lots of different areas and different types of venues. We ended up going with one that included a caterer, service package for food and cake cutting, chairs, tables, linens, day of coordinator, and alcohol.
The price was stressful, but once we figured out our budget and settled on a venue, everything else kind of flowed from there. Unless you love coordinating and planning and want say over every small detail, I would advise trying to go with a venue that at least includes some of this stuff. The less you have to stress about the better!!
Post # 8
Yeah. Cut out alcohol. You have to pay servers just to pour it and also pay for the actual alcohol. That alone is thousands. Finding fbs venue was the first stressful thing, but certainly not the last. definitely dealing with all the various people takes the cake. We actually found a venue, but the planner wasn’t responding to us at all, so we chose a different one. We are a little over 100 days until our wedding and we could NOT get ahold of the person at the second venue…as in, we tried for 2-3 months and when we did reach her, she would make up a reason as to why she couldn’t talk, but would “call right back”…then it would be another couple of weeks. Well, turns out she was on her way out the door. She just left the staff high and dry. No explanantion. Yup. Talk about stressful. Now we have a new person and it turns out the old person wasn’t doing things right. She gave us the wrong menu. We already sent out the stuff to get our menu printed and they send us a different menu and that ond even costs more. That would be an extra $230. We were like, nope. She messed it up, we’re not paying extra money because someone else screwed us over. Grrrr. Luckily, the new person is nice and seems like she will honor the old menu. Whew. People stink. :/
Post # 9
Do you have anyone in your family or extended familly (or fiance’s!) that belongs to a golf club? We are going that route – our uncle signed for us and for $1000, we get the venue all night for 200 people and that includes complete setup and tear down, dance floor, linens, service, etc. We still have to pay for catering (which they provide) and tip.
Post # 10
I agree with this. The hardest part is dealing with everyone else and their opinions. Booking the venue and other vendors in comparison is a breeze.
Post # 11
Thank you so much for the replies everyone! I was just so frustrated that the only venue that I really liked actually didn’t have any of these inclusions. We are trying to keep the budget under $17k total so it’s not totally out of range but we will need to scrimp elsewhere. I guess I am not a born planner though because I would love to just hire someone to do it all and I could just turn up! Unfortunately I don’t have the budget for that lol.
Post # 12
i think the guest list is more stresssful. I STILL don’t have 100% of my needed addresses, so some people on my FI’s side may not get an invite. He didn’t send out STDs to his HALF of the list, so that’s $75, wasted.
Weddings are a cultural practice that’s the equivalent of setting cash on fire. It’s worse than startups.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2015 - a sculpture garden
Girl, it is aaaaall stressful. You can’t spend too long on each decision though, cuz there are sooo many to make! Just keep a master list of everything, and a spreadsheet. You can do this all with Google Drive so your guy can see too and HELP YOU so you don’t wig out.
And don’t be afraid to negotiate!! We literally told our venue that we’d like it to be $1k cheaper and they were like “kay”. Tell them what price you want to keep it at and they’ll try to make it work for you. At least that’s what it seems like for me right now.
Post # 14
Finding the right venue is one of the hardest parts and even after that I question if I chose the right place as no-where seemed to have everything I wanted!
After that it’s lots of little things and it really depends on the length of your engagement as to how stressful it is. I would reccomend putting together some kind of list or spreadsheet detailing the different elements of the wedding. Just doing this will immediately make you feel more organised and in control.
Post # 15
- Wedding: Hawksnest Cove Beach St John USVI
We stressed about a venue because we were from different places and moved to a new city. We chose a Destination Wedding and it was much cheaper and less stressful! We had a wedding planner and have beautiful photos. Don’t worry, the location is the hardest part!