(Closed) I don't think I can do this… wedding planning so overwhelming

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I think finding the venue is the first part, but if the venue is already stressing you out, then keep looking.  You and your Fiance will find the one and it’ll feel right!

Post # 3
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

It took us a while to find a venue also but after picking the venue everything else just seems to fall into place.

Post # 4
Member
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I can’t really say that chosing the venue was the most stressful part. I think the most stressful part about wedding planning is dealing with everyone else…and their opinions.

I would prefer going with a venue that has a lot already there. Our venue has food/drinks/chairs/linens/centerpieces. Also, the ceremony and reception is all at one place. I prefer things this way….it has just made things easier.

Wedding are crazy money though…..we have been fairly frugal and haven’t splurged on expensive things, but it’s still close to 20k. It’s insane but everything adds up so quickly. It’s scary

Post # 5
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
albee88:  If I hadn’t already booked my venues before, I  may have done what my colleague suggested and that’s have a destination wedding at an all-inclusive resort! Alcohol, food, venue all included in your package…genius.

Post # 6
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
albee88:  By The Way, it’s very ambitious to have a wedding under $5k, even under $10k is not easy! Words of advice are to keep the number of people down and/or cut out alcohol. Those two are the killers to a budget.

Post # 7
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I can’t really speak to your situation, but yes booking the venue was my most stressful part (so far). We’re paying for the wedding ourselves and live far enough away from everyone where we aren’t bombarded by a million different opinions, so fortunately that’s not an issue for us.

We also looked at venue options in lots of different areas and different types of venues. We ended up going with one that included a caterer, service package for food and cake cutting, chairs, tables, linens, day of coordinator, and alcohol. 

The price was stressful, but once we figured out our budget and settled on a venue, everything else kind of flowed from there. Unless you love coordinating and planning and want say over every small detail, I would advise trying to go with a venue that at least includes some of this stuff. The less you have to stress about the better!!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by  michellia.
Post # 8
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yeah.  Cut out alcohol. You have to pay servers just to pour it and also pay for the actual alcohol. That alone is thousands. Finding fbs venue was the first stressful thing, but certainly not the last. definitely dealing with all the various people takes the cake. We actually found a venue, but the planner wasn’t responding to us at all, so we chose a different one. We are a little over 100 days until our wedding and we could NOT get ahold of the person at the second venue…as in, we tried for 2-3 months and when we did reach her, she would make up a reason as to why she couldn’t talk, but would “call right back”…then it would be another couple of weeks. Well, turns out she was on her way out the door. She just left the staff high and dry. No explanantion. Yup. Talk about stressful. Now we have a new person and it turns out the old person wasn’t doing things right. She gave us the wrong menu. We already sent out the stuff to get our menu printed and they send us a different menu and that ond even costs more. That would be an extra $230. We were like, nope. She messed it up, we’re not paying extra money because someone else screwed us over. Grrrr. Luckily, the new person is nice and seems like she will honor the old menu. Whew. People stink. :/

Post # 9
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

Do you have anyone in your family or extended familly (or fiance’s!) that belongs to a golf club?  We are going that route – our uncle signed for us and for $1000, we get the venue all night for 200 people and that includes complete setup and tear down, dance floor, linens, service, etc.  We still have to pay for catering (which they provide) and tip.

Post # 10
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

View original reply
memo:  I agree with this. The hardest part is dealing with everyone else and their opinions.  Booking the venue and other vendors in comparison is a breeze.

Post # 12
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
albee88: i think the guest list is more stresssful. I STILL don’t have 100% of my needed addresses, so some people on my FI’s side may not get an invite. He didn’t send out STDs to his HALF of the list, so that’s $75, wasted. 

Weddings are a cultural practice that’s the equivalent of setting cash on fire. It’s worse than startups. 

Post # 13
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - a sculpture garden

Girl, it is aaaaall stressful. You can’t spend too long on each decision though, cuz there are sooo many to make! Just keep a master list of everything, and a spreadsheet. You can do this all with Google Drive so your guy can see too and HELP YOU so you don’t wig out.

And don’t be afraid to negotiate!! We literally told our venue that we’d like it to be $1k cheaper and they were like “kay”. Tell them what price you want to keep it at and they’ll try to make it work for you. At least that’s what it seems like for me right now.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by  MrsManda.
Post # 14
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee

Finding the right venue is one of the hardest parts and even after that I question if I chose the right place as no-where seemed to have everything I wanted!

After that it’s lots of little things and it really depends on the length of your engagement as to how stressful it is. I would reccomend putting together some kind of list or spreadsheet detailing the different elements of the wedding. Just doing this will immediately make you feel more organised and in control.

Post # 15
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Hawksnest Cove Beach St John USVI

We stressed about a venue because we were from different places and moved to a new city. We chose a Destination Wedding and it was much cheaper and less stressful!  We had a wedding planner and have beautiful photos. Don’t worry, the location is the hardest part!

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