(Closed) I don't think I can have a Catholic wedding! =(

posted 6 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
2216 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@HerNameWasLola:  My Pre-Cana was one day only.  We did have to meet with the priest marrying us every few months, but that was really flexible.

My cousin was in a LDR.  She was in Ohio and her Fiance was in Florida.  They got married in a Catholic Church.  The priest worked with them around the FI’s schedule of when he was in town.  No biggie.

ETA:  Talk to the priest who you want to marry you.  Its not going to hurt to ask.

Post # 4
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

The biggest hurdle, from what I can see, is your FI’s participation. If he refuses to have a Catholic wedding, well, there’s not much you can do. If he agrees, though, you can make it happen and the Church will work with you. It might get really complicated, but if both halves of the couple are on board, you can make it happen!

The first thing to do is to talk it out with your Fiance and see where he stands.

Post # 5
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Do you want a full mass?  I know in my area they’ll do a shorter service.  Or you can be married by a Jesuit Priest (that’s what a lot of my Catholic friends who want to get married outside or something do).  It just depends on the diocese, too.  Some really conservative ones aren’t too flexible. 

Post # 6
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We went to a weekend retreat for our Catholic wedding prep.  Maybe one of you can visit for the weekend to do it.  I thought the Engaged Encounter retreat was really great for getting you to talk about some things about your relationship you might not have ever thought to talk about and I honestly think everyone, religious or not, should do it before getting married.  And my husband is Baptist and we had a full Mass wedding – I don’t see any reason you couldn’t have a Catholic wedding.  At the very least you should go sit down and discuss this with your priest.  You may be able to at least have your wedding blessed by the Church.

Post # 7
Member
4432 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Once you’re married you could always go back and recieve a marriage blessing, this would also entail pre-marital sacraments but atleast you would be able to have the best of both!

Post # 8
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@KCKnd2:  +1

Fiance and I are in VA and FL occasionally in the same location. We’re doing our prep all over the place and its kind of a headache.. but possible. Talk with the priest and he’ll get you moving in the right direction.

Oh and you won’t be able to have a full mass from what I understand. The main reason being, you don’t want to have communion and only one of the couple be able to recieve… you want to do everything together not separate.

Post # 9
Member
4432 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Woodstock:  You can’t have a ceremony OR  a full mass without the future spouse receiving confirmation first.  It doesn’t matter if they don’t receive eucharist during their wedding ceremony.

Once the partner is confirmed, they can marry in the church, if he was not catholic, he would not be able to participate in the eucharist, but the bride could receieve.  He would have to cross his hands.

Post # 10
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@BellaDee:  My Fiance isn’t confirmed.. and we’re having a full mass… The priest said as loong as he’s catholic he’s fine. My best frind just married someone who isn’t even christian.. and they had the shortened version. 

And we’re getting married in one of the most conservative dioceses in the country (Arlington)

Post # 11
Member
4432 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Woodstock:  That is usually not allowed, you must be confirmed, that is very odd that they let that happen!  I had to be confirmed this Easter for our wedding next year in his catholic church. 

Post # 12
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@BellaDee:  I’ll have to disagree with you on this one. I think it must be a diocisan requirement for you.

Post # 13
Member
4432 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Woodstock:  Hmm…maybe so!  It was told by many of the churches (in our area in lower NY) that marriage is one of the sacrements, obviously, and you must receieve all prior, baptism, communion, confirmation and eucharist before you marry. 

Post # 14
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee

@Woodstock:  Agree, generally only one has to be Catholic and you have to agree to raise your chilren Catholic, so your situation must be a local requirement.  Just Google “can a non catholic marry a catholic” and you will get a lot of the same answer.

Post # 15
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@T-Rex:  yup. and I’m a practicing Catholic so they weren’t too worried about my Fiance. They suggested him to get confirmed (hes been baptized, recieved reconciliation, and 1st communion) but then realized we want to get married sooner rather than later and said that he should consider it after we’re married… but it’s definitely not required.

Post # 16
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@BellaDee:  They made you get confirmed in your (presumably Protestant?) denomination in order to marry your Catholic Fiance in the Catholic church? I’m surprised by that, too. I think that must be something unique to your diocese. Especially because, as flyawaycricket said, I know that the Diocese of Arlington, VA has one of the most strongly conservative bishops in the country, and if they don’t require it, I’m surprised anyone else does … or maybe it’s something your priest insisted on?

The topic ‘I don't think I can have a Catholic wedding! =(’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors