(Closed) I don’t think I can plan this.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

I’m so sorry you’re going through this!  Life often gets in the way of certain things, but in the end you have to start making plans yourself for what you think is right for you.  If getting married right now is very important to you, maybe you don’t need all of the fluffs and frills and expensive bits, but if those details ARE important to you, you’ll just have to wait to save up a bit more.

Every bride has these decisions they need to make…if I waited another year to save up, we wouldn’t have the same financial stress as we do, but we know we can make it work and I know it’s the right decision for us to get married this year.

I hope you figure out what’s the most important to you…whether it’s college or marriage, (or both!) just follow your heart!

Post # 4
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Hi MrsJellybean, your post has confused me a little – I think you’re conflating getting married with having a wedding.  If you’re sure that Mr JB is the man for you and he proposed, there is nothing between you and getting married right now (or as soon as is permitted where you live) – don’t despair!  It seems crappy right now but you’ll get through it, I promise.

Are you really worried you won’t have the wedding you want?  Because there are tons and tons of ideas and ways to have an amazing wedding even on the tightest of budgets.  There are whole blogs out there about having weddings on a shoestring where you could get ideas.

I did have a question – from your post it seems that you feel that getting married isn’t compatible with going to college – I’ve always thought that marriage is something that should make you feel more able to accomplish your life goals, not less.  If your relationship is something that isn’t compatible with what you want to do with your life, then that sounds like something you might want to think hard about.

Post # 5
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh my goodness! The things you’ve gone through sound terrible, and I’m so sorry to hear about them. Such is life I suppose–two years ago I didn’t plan on getting married right now, I thought Fiance and I would be moving to DC and working and whatever for a couple of years… and we’re headed for fairly rural Georgia. So yeah, I know what you mean about not accomplishing any of those dreams. In fact, we are sooo broke and we don’t know where we’re living yet starting in June–so that indecisiveness killed for the first month this year, trying to get “motivated” to plan. One day I just decided that WE ARE GOING TO DO IT COME HELL OR HIGH WATER. Not sure if that will work for you, though.

But you know what? You are engaged, which I’m sure was one of your dreams once. You have a loving partner. Have you considered getting legally wed and then having a “wedding” on your first anniversary for your family?

And you’ve got some college under your belt, right? Any higher education is better than none, and you’ll finish it as long as you put your mind to it. I know it’s hard.. I’m in my last semester and it seems like I’ve been sick like 40% of the time this year, but my professors are understanding and I’m pushing through it. Just getting through one semester felt like running a marathon.

Post # 6
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Maybe you should look into getting married at a court house?  So you don’t have to stress over and you don’t have to spend too much that way you two could save money while things are a bit tight?

 

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