- 10 years ago
Hi bees! I am a former lurker, but just had to join today. I couldn’t resist venting, and I am just too embarrassed to talk to any of my friends about this.
A little background, my BF just bought my ring a week ago. Yes, I am waiting, not-so-patiently. 🙂 So I am over the moon excited about this, on top of the fact that I just started my first job within my chosen career field! Great week, right? Well, not exactly.
I just recieved a call from my grandmother, hysterical, because apparently my mother told her that BF and I are trying to get pregnant. Now this couldn’t possibly be further from the truth. To be quite honest, I am 23, still have a bit more college to complete, and do not want kids for another 5 or 6 years!
My mother knew of BF and I picking out the ring, as my BF asked for her permission. She has never been the type of parent to be happy for me, or proud of my accomplishments. Quite the contrary, she is very unsupportive. It is almost like she is competing with me. I am not trying to sound concieded or anything like that, my brother says this constantly.
My mother has been single for the past ten years, never completed college and is genuinely miserable. The saying “Misery loves company”, completely sums her up. Every influential moment in my life she has either strived to outshine me, sabotage, or both. It is really very sad.
Regardless of all of this, I do respect my mother, because well, she is my mother. Anyone who stays up until the wee hours of the night with an infant deserves respect in my book. However, I’m really questioning whether this relationship is just too toxic at this point.
My grandmother and I are incredibly close, I actually think of her more like my mother. Because of this, my mother has always tried to diminish my relationship with her.
What happened today really put the nail in the coffin for me. Now, in my mind, as I know my mother quite well, she decided to spread this little pregnancy rumor to ruin my upcoming engagement. I can only assume my family will assume we are getting married because I am pregnant, or at least that was what my mother wanted to come of the situation.
I am so incredibly hurt. I am almost scared to get engaged now because of the questions that will ensue. This is not how I pictured one of the biggest moments of my life going about.
Where do I go from here?