(Closed) I don't think I want a wedding anymore..(venting)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should we do?
    Go to the courthouse and have a picnic at a local park with games and food : (26 votes)
    58 %
    Just have the backyard wedding : (18 votes)
    40 %
    Other:please explain : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Have what you and your Fiance want to have, don’t stress about what other people will think.

    How about having the courthouse wedding, and then catching up with the 23 people afterwards, whether it be at the park or in the back yard and just have a little celebration there. Your wedding doesn’t have to be a huge effort.

    Just make sure at the end of the day your and your Fiance are getting the exact wedding you want.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    I think you and your Fiance should do what you want! If you want a simple courthouse ceremony then go for it, a wedding, no matter how small is not worth stressing you out and making your health problems worse.

    I do not think it’s tacky to spend your budget on your honeymoon, it’s a great idea since you don’t want the wedding anyway and it would be a good way for you and Fiance to de-stress and relax together! Laughing

    Post # 7
    Member
    2188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    @rachels7683 Yes it does! I want a vacation now, sadly I have to wait until December booo.

    Screw the wedding, I’d get married at the courthouse then fly off ASAP somewhere warm to relax!

    Post # 8
    Member
    2376 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Well, I’m not having a bouquet or garter toss, but it’s still a wedding!  And small weddings are no less special than large ones.  We specifically wanted a small wedding because we only wanted our nearest and dearest with us. 

    Fathers can be pretty clueless about these things, and he may be seeing your dislike for large weddings and some of the traditions as an overall disinterest in the wedding.  Stress to him that you’re excited about this, and that this is what makes you happy.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1586 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Sit down with your Fiance. Are you 100% certain this is what you want? Will you regret this decision down the road? 

     

    If not, go get your courthouse wedding. A wedding is the celebration of a marriage. A marriage is what matters, not the first party you throw for it. Get into your marriage how you guys want to. Your parents may be helping foot the bill but that does NOT let them control your big decisions, like how you want to do it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1657 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    OP, I’m having the same problem.

    Backyard wedding of about 40 (10 of whom I do not want to invite but feel obligated to because of my parents), and I’m just seriously considering whisking Fiance to the courthouse and getting it done there.

    My parents want me to have a huge wedding (DB’s wedding(s) next year will have about 1000 people in attendance, for comparison) and want to pay for it, but I said absolutely not. I want this day to be about Fiance and I, not drama. 

    I feel like if you went through with the backyard wedding you aren’t going to think about what a happy day it is; instead you’re going to think about what everyone else thinks. 🙁

    Post # 13
    Hostess
    11621 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I’m wondering if your dad isn’t trying in that male, gruff way, to make sure his little girl ( in his eyes, lol) gets the wedding of her dreams. Sometimes, men are clueless:-) and he might feel like he wants you to have the wedding he thinks he’s supposed to providing. Just a thought, I know when the men in my life start getting a certain way, it’s guilt or just wanting the best but not being able to see that everything is okay the way it is. 

     

    Sounds like you’re under a lot of stress, so sorry about ffil. hugs!

    Post # 14
    Member
    1772 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    If bouquet toss and the shower are the primary issues, it seems like everything can work out well stil.

    It sounds like your dad is worried that you won’t be getting “your special day” that a wedding is supposed to be.  Since a bride isn’t supposed to plan her own shower anyway (& sometimes doesn’t even know she’s getting one), why not let them throw that for you in exchange for him not pushing the bouquet/garter toss issue anymore?  

    Have you explained to him that a lot of couples (even at huge weddings) don’t do bouquet/garter toss these days because most of their friend group wouldn’t want to or couldn’t participate etc?  or have you told them that the reason you don’t want the toss is because it’d be very awkward w/such a small group?

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