(Closed) I don’t think I want to get married anymore…LONG

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i know this is going to come across as a shot at you but we dont know each other/dont take this personally if you disagree but you sound like a bit of a hot mess emotionally so although you have a list of complaints against him, ask yourself am i a bundle of joy to live with? 

i say this knowing that im the hot head in my marriage and i sometimes treat my husband in ways i wouldnt treat a co worker, family member or stranger and when i feel myself getting like this i ask myself what is the real problem and why am i reacting this way

you both need to learn to communicate better, you need to learn to deal with anger and frustration and how to fight fairer and hopefully couples counseling will help

please dont think im trying to be mean on purpose but your home is suppose to be your haven and if its turmoil then no one can be happy

Post # 4
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

May I ask how old you are?  I HONESTLY don’t mean to be rude or disrespectful, but some of these arguments and responses seem a bit immature, not as in your mental capacity but as in lacking life experiences.  You LEARN not to say harsh things you can’t unsay.  You LEARN not to have knee-jerk reactions and explosions.  Could it be your learning these lessons in this relationship?

Post # 6
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think you should get married.


Post # 7
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

My honest opinion? Neither of you sound emotionally mature enough to be married. 

Post # 8
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Eva Peron:  I agree. Until you guys learn to respect each other you have no business commiting the rest of your lives to one another. You’re just asking for trouble.

Post # 10
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

i don’t know you personally and I don’t know your situation other than what you have told me, but I was in a relationship with a man for 5 years, we were engaged and planning a wedding and I broke it off becuase I realized that I coudln’t handle his actions for the rest of my life. He did things very much like what you are describing, told me he was only with me becuase he had nothing better to do, told me he only asked me becuase his parents made him etc. etc. etc. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that is not love.

My Darling Husband now shows me love, like actual love, every single day. I have faith that you can find someone who will respect you. someone who asks you to marry you becuase they can’t possibly imagine what thier life would be without you. Someone who wants to HELP you plan the wedding an not just avoid it.

I don’t know you, but my advice is to not get married it is a lot cheaper to break off a wedding than it is to get a divorce. and much easier to recover from emotionally.

Post # 11
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I already know you’re going to take this the wrong way, so I don’t know why I’m writing it – but maybe if you hear it enough times, it will click.

You come across as very young, and very angry.

Neither of those are conducive to a happy marriage.

Think about the things in life that make you angry, and make an effort to remove them – no matter what they are. Life goes by WAY too fast to spend so much of it yelling, swearing, and throwing things.

Post # 12
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It sounds like you both need to take time apart and work on yourselves. A relationship isn’t going to be able to flouish if you both are having your own individual emotional turmoils. Maybe you guys should step back, take a break and think about things. Then you may begin to realize what is important and what isn’t.


I would definitly say you should consider taking a break right now…because it sounds like a mess. I am sorry you’re having such a hard time =(

Post # 13
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m going to have to agree with @Eva Peron: and the prior posters.  I’m very sorry that you’re going through all of this turmoil and disappointment. However, nothing you’ve written indicates that your getting married right now to this man is a good idea.

It sounds as if both of you could benefit from some space and time to grow as individuals before either of you is ready to make a lifetime commitment to someone else. Finding a lifetime partner is not only about meeting the right person but also about BEING the right person. Marriage, even under the very best of circumstances, can be very challenging at times. I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to begin a marriage under these circumstances. 

Post # 14
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

I agree with everyone else…I think you both need to learn to communicate, respect and compromise with one another before getting married.  

Post # 15
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Every relationship has it’s breaking point.  The key is having RESPECT for one another and your relationship so as not to get there.  I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  I think he may definitely be the reason for your anger!  Get yourself free!

Post # 16
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

3 years isn’t a lifetime. If you marry this man you will be right back here 4 months later with a post like someone else just posted titled “is 4 months too early to get a divorce?” GO WITH YOUR GUT.

The topic ‘I don’t think I want to get married anymore…LONG’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors