(Closed) I don’t think I’ll ever feel beautiful.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

How long did you go to counseling?

Post # 6
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Don’t feel silly! 

You know this is all a product of your crappy mother, right?  You got dealt a crappy deck of cards.  Sometimes we get that, and it’s sad.  But we can reclaim ourselves.

Would you consider going back?  I think there’s still a lot of work to be done.

You sound like you don’t even love yourself.  You know that’s kind of necessary before eyou get into a relationship with someone?

Post # 7
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m just having a dialog with you.  But if you want me to ignore, just tell me.

Post # 8
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so bad!  I’m sure going through weight swings like that must take its toll on your emotional and physical well-being, and I really hope you start feeling better.  And I know you said you don’t want advice, but sometimes when I’m feeling depressed/ugly I like to do something just for me that makes me feel better, like get a mani/pedi or buy a new lipgloss (not new jeans or bikini–I don’t feel like trying clothes on when I feel fat).  Pampering yourself a little is cheaper than therapy or drugs.

Post # 10
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

**HUGS**  I’ve been there.  I know exactly what you are talking about, sweetie.  Same ups and downs, same swings in moods during different times in my life, same problems with meds and weight.  So please know that you aren’t alone.  But please also know that you are loved and beautiful, no matter what number is on the scales or in your jeans.  We are always our own worst critics, and I guarantee no one else looks at you and sees a pile of flaws.  I do the same thing to Darling Husband (ask him if I look okay, but then don’t believe him when he answers).  Sometimes we need to give our guys a little bit more credit than that.  🙂  Chin up, my dear…you are perfect in your FI’s eyes.  Our own eyes play tricks on us. Don’t forget that!!!

Post # 12
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Rouquine:  

You really shouldn’t be feeling silly for writing this. It is exhausting to be constantly tearing yourself down, but it’s so hard to stop.  I have very similar issues, and I wasn’t even subjected to the torture that you were.  My mom told me I was lovely even when I was an awkward little troll (I’ve seen the pictures).

 

I’ll make my response short since you don’t want much attention.  Yoga.  If you don’t know it, get to know it and find a practice that you love.  It’s been the one and only thing that has relieved some of my appearance self-hatred.

Post # 13
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

HUGE hugs!!!! You do not deserve to feel this way.

It sounds like your counselor may not have been the best fit for you – or at least for addressing this particular issue. Cognitive behavioral therapy is often really helpful in addressing these kinds of compulsive thoughts. It might be worth a shot.

Sorry, I know you weren’t asking for advice, but it’s hard to see you feel such undeserved self-loathing and not try to help.

ETA: And you most definitely do not need to feel silly for posting it!!! I just want to give you a big hug. You are a lovely person, and and I’m happy your Fiance makes you feel as loved and secure as you deserve to feel.

Post # 14
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Aw MissPumpkinPie, please don’t feel silly for putting this up. Your feelings are so uniquely yours and yet so universal among women in particular. People can be so critical and hurtful. Common wisdom says that it’s just words and not to let it affect you, but it’s just not that easy. Words, especially negative ones, are incredibly powerful. It sounds like your fiance adores you and knows how beautiful you truly are.

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