Post # 1
so, bees. here’s how it is.
For a while i’ve hoped a proposal would come on the week of our 2 year anniversary/my birthday (they are 3 days apart). Recenetly i’ve gotten a few signs that say differently- and i’m bummed.
1) my best friend (and future MOH) was talking about wedding stuff with me the other day and said something like “i really hope i get to go ring shopping with D when he goes”. This indicates he has not mentioned to her anything about ring shopping, which i’m most certain he will do when the time comes. She has been my best friend since i was 12 and he has run every birthday/christmas present by her. I dont see how he’d keep this from her. She is an awful liar so i know she was serious, i could tell
2) we are looking for a new apartment and i was on the computer looking at listings, went to go back to a previous apt i had looked at and saw on the computer history a few websites and a “shopping cart” link for a camera. I am recently into photography and, based on this, am pretty sure D bought me a camera for my birthday (he had mentioned this before, i was hoping it was to throw me off). Dont get me wrong, im super stoked about a new camera, but lets just say it wasnt the birthday gift i was hoping for.
I am super intuitive and think i would be able to tell if it was coming. My birthday is now in less than 3 weeks and i’m pretty sure there will be no small ring box in his pocket on our birthday/anniversary date.
I love him to death and I’m happy with the way things are now, but i really, really want to move forward. He has been indicating for a while that he’s ready and when i bring up throwing old fashioned out the window and just mutually discussing getting married (e.g. a no-surprise proposal) he says no, he wants to wait until he “afford it” and surprise me.
We’re moving out of state in September and i was really hoping it would happen before then. I need some words of encouragement…. if its not coming now, i dont know when it will come. Also- could i be totally wrong? I dont think there’s any way he could afford to buy me a ~$600 camera for my birthday AND an enagement ring… but i dont know..
Post # 3
My advise to you would be “Don’t think about it.” What men hate most is their GF being frustrated or upset that he hasn’t proposed when she was expecting it. He is most likely waiting for you NOT to expect it. Some men want that surprise factor. You maybe (accidentally) pushing away even further. Trust me, i have had many occasions that were a “this could be it” moment. Then it wasn’t. Even his mom and sister thought there was a moment there when he would propose. But again, he didn’t. I made sure that my BF didn’t think I was upset that he didn’t propose. Even though I really was. He left in April to go on military duty for 5 months and we made a night out before he left and went to this really nice restaurant. I was praying that was it. But nope! He is coming home this weekend and you bet the thought crossed my mind. Again, I can’t get my hopes up too high. I don’t want to ruin the weekend for us. He goes back on Monday.
Post # 4
Oh I’m sorry July…that sucks. One day my bf mentioned that with the extra military pay he’ll be getting in a few months that he’ll be able to finish paying off some CC bills and that then he would be able to save for other things (wink). It’s a little upsetting when you realize he hasn’t started saving yet.
You’re getting an awesome Birthday present though! Don’t let your disappointment that it’s not a ring ruin that. And really, wouldn’t you like to have a special engagement day that he’s put effort into rather than a Engagement ring turned b-day gift? That’s always seemed like a bit of a cop out to me. (Not that I would turn him down if he did that )
Post # 5
I’m with MsEucalyptus – maybe he wants you to have your very own engagement day – and not do it on your birthday or anniversary?
I can totally relate about how upsetting it is when you think that your wait is going to be longer than you thought, but just try and stay strong – I am sure he has something special planned for you and hopefully very soon!
Post # 6
Many guys won’t propose on an anniversary because they think it dampens the suprise. Perhaps that’s the case. I know my FI proposed on our anniversary but it was our 14 month anniversary, which is kinda random. I know he didn’t want to do it on a holiday or on any of our big year anniversaries.
Post # 7
@July: When is your birthday/anniversary? My birthday and anniversary are only 5 days apart and also in July. And we’re also moving out of state before the end of the year (probably October).
I’m hoping he’ll propose for my birthday or our anniversary (if not before), but I don’t think it’s going to be the case. He admitted to me the other day he has a plan. The ring has been ordered (I know, we designed it together and I dealt mostly with the jeweler, long story) so I think he may wait for it to be ready – which is still another month 🙁
You know he loves you and he wants to be with you, and as much as yes, the proposal/engagement is important – being with him is so much more important. He loves you and he will propose. In the mean time enjoy the awesome new camera!! I’m jealous about that as I am also very into photography and just finished two photo classes. I doubt I’ll be getting as nice or exciting present for my birthday.
Post # 8
@flutterbi: Our anniversary is jul 12 and my bday is jul 15. Where are you moving to?
Thanks bees for the encouragement. I’d actually prefer the proposal come on an ‘off’ day (e.g. not a holiday). My bigger concern is that its not coming for much longer than i thought (if he has not even mentioned ring shopping to my FMOH yet then it could be months and months and months…)
trying to stay positive- maybe will take my mind off of everything with some quality time with my new camera in late summer 🙂