(Closed) I don’t think my Fi loves me anymore.

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@simpleandchic: You might have to have people “hate you.” I doubt they will. I mean you guys can go back and try councilling again. Marriage isn’t all sunshine and roses, however, from what you wrote before you got married I would of told you to re-think your marriage. Now that time has past so I will say this, if you want to try and make your marriage work try councilling again. If that doesn’t work, or you still feel unhappy there is the ugly D word, really it is upto you. Not us.

 

Post # 32
Member
2194 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

This sounds tricky, and not something the beehive can necessarily handle. In my opinion, I think you need to continue with counseling and determine if this is something that A. can be worked out, or B. you WANT to work out. Infedility is definitely not something that comes lightly.

Post # 33
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

Life is what you make it !

First, it’s not fun to go through, but I think you need therapy, not for your marriage, for you ! Having no family is sad in itself and very hard to deal with and you are very young. You don’t have friends to fall on, count on, back you, etc., you are primarily living for him and the marriage. I could see where as feeling so alone in the world would make it very difficult not to latch onto someone, anyone, who in a moment made you feel loved. But to cheat once is one thing, to cheat 5 times, well that is not about validation, no one in love cheats to validate anything, they cheat because they are not happy, attempting to punish the person they are cheating on or is using it to escape reality. 

Look, getting a divorce is simple, file, pack and leave, it ‘s less time consuming and cost less than the wedding did. Its time for you to take responsibility of your own life and actions.  Good luck with everything and focus on your inner strength to become a better person knowing your are doing the right thing by yourself and him by walking away from the failure. 🙂  Stay strong !!!  

Post # 34
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m so not qualified to give advice in a situation like this, so feel free to disregard anything I say that you don’t like, etc.  

I think that if counseling helped you before the wedding, it might be worth another try now. 

I also wouldn’t worry about who hates you or doesn’t hate you- it’s your life.  I think you need to figure out what’s best for you- whether that means staying and making it work or leaving and rebuilding your life.  Either way you’ll be ok.  

Post # 35
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

People hate on others people no matter what.. but at this point you need to do whats best for you.. if you feel that you need to be out of the relationship then thats what you need to do.. for you!!

Post # 36
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yikes.  Follow your heart.  If you are unhappy and it just isnt working then it may be time to bite the bullet and make a change in your life.  You may lose some friends, but you may also meet an entire world of people who you didnt know existed before.  Good luck, and remember, you only get one life, and its not worth it if you both are unhappy (hugs)

Post # 37
Member
5104 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@simpleandchic:Oh honey, I wish I had known about all this a long time ago! Please, please, please let us know how you’re doing. I’m worried. Honestly, for now you need to get out and take a step back before doing anything else. And if he is in any way still emotionally abusive or otherwise, you might want to consider getting out of that house for the time being for your own well-being! No one will hate you, you have to take care of yourself at this point. Don’t stay in a marriage for anyone else. 

Please PM me if you want to talk.

Post # 38
Member
6350 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh honey. I am so sorry to hear this.

But you are smart, GORGEOUS and such a kind person. You deserve to be treated that way.

Post # 39
Member
4544 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I wouldn’t worry about people hating you. In the end you need to do what’s best for you. Take some time and think about what you really want. Maybe try counseling again. You say everything’s bad again….does that mean you’re cheating again? Or that you’re not feeling loved again?

Post # 40
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I’d say it is probably time to separate. Some things just aren’t meant to be. I commend you for coming clean.

Post # 41
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so, so sorry. I don’t have any advice for you. I wish I did. I think PPs have said it all. PM me anytime. (((HUGS)))

Post # 42
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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@simpleandchic:

This is a tough one, you guys are newly weds and its suppose to be one of the happiest times of your’ll marriage. If you want to save your marriage, counselling worked before, maybe you guys could return.

The topic ‘I don’t think my Fi loves me anymore.’ is closed to new replies.

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