Post # 1
Sure, when we were younger and first dating, he would be jealous of my guy friends, and I tend to have a lot so there were a few conversations about that.
Then when we had to deal with me doing love scenes with others in college theatre, he would be annoyed, though he recognized that he had no real right to be.
Now? I honestly don’t think he possesses the ability to be jealous any longer.
Example: I have a friend who is into photography and is just getting started. He asked if I would pose for (tasteful, artistic) nudes for him. I talked it over with my husband a couple of times, and he didn’t have any strong feelings for or against, and I trust my friend, so I said ok.
Then the night before the shoot I was feeling insecure about my body. So my husband talks me up and builds up my confidence so that I can do a nude shoot with my friend
I seriously think he’s lost the ability.
Anyone else who’s SO lacks the jealousy response?
Post # 3
My Fiance is just the opposite he is comfortable with male friends that I have introduced him too but he is not comfortable with men trying to get my attention or trying to flirt with me. He has witness it first hand and know it is not anything I am doing. The way he tries to prevent it is by holding my hand or having his hand somewhere on me. I personally am not aware of these men because I love my Fiance and am so not interested.
Post # 4
My fiance is the same way. He loves me with all of his heart and we have an amazing relationship, but if I were to be hit on or have someone ask for my number which has happened, he has nothing wrong with it, no jealousy. I think some are the jealous type and some aren’t and I don’t think that has anything to do with your relationship or the way he feels about you. My Fiance explains it to me that he is just very secure in what we have and has no reason to worry because he knows I’m his forever. For your SO, this is probably a function of total trust and comfort in knowing that he has no REASON to be jealous, which is a great thing!
Post # 5
My Fiance is never jealous. It is a blessing most of the time because I have a lot of male friends from the Navy and we all go out a lot. But, sometimes it is kind of annoying. One time a guy came up and kissed me on the dance floor, and Fiance didn’t react at all. I had to go over and say, “did you see that guy just come up and kiss me?” he was like “Oh man that sucks, but what do you want me to do about it?”. I had to coach him on what to do (go over, say stay away from my girl, etc).
Yeah, I wish he cared a little bit more sometimes, but for the most part I like that I have freedom to do whatever I want without fear of jealousy.
On the other hand, I used to be very jealous of his exes (who he is still friends with) but now I am rarely jealous. So maybe it is just how we are?
Post # 6
My husband would be the same way – although he’d be overly shocked if I ever did something like nude pics 🙂
3 weeks ago some guy was hitting on me at a bar and asked to buy me a drink with Darling Husband standing right there. I of course declined and explained I was married, Darling Husband asked why I did that because I was going to get a free drink out of it. o_o
Post # 7
I agree. I commented on his amazing jeaousy lack and he said “Well, I trust you. And I don’t know Andy that well, but he seems like a good guy without any other motives.” Which is true. I mean, we are both invited to his wedding next month and the last time I did any photos with him (topless and covered, not nude) his fiancee was in the other room holding their baby and telling him how to better direct the photos. So not really a suspicious situation!
I think that often jealousy subsides the longer you are together. Not in a negative way, but I think being comfortable in a relationship can increase your trust. Like a pp mentioned, my husband–in the past–would do the possessive arm around my waist thing if I was talking to another guy. Now, he doesn’t even bat an eye if my friends flirt with me in front of him–which is usually a blessing. In theatre, people flirt basically all the time, I’ve found!
haha, awesome! He’s only thinking of your household budget 😉
Post # 8
My SO doesn’t seem to have the jealousy thing going on. He completely trusts me, and recognizing that jealousy would be something that he needs to work out within himself, and not something that another person has control over. However, I want to do a budoir shott before our marriage, and he told me that it was cool as long as I had a female photographer. That had nothing to do with jealousy — but more of a respect/weirdness issue.
Post # 9
My honey is never jealous. But I embrace it because I was in a marriage before and my ex would be consumed with imaginary bouts of jealousy and possessiveness. He would blow up my phone constantly when I wasn’t with him.
This relationship is such a blessing and so much better. He never seems to worry about what I am doing and doesn’t get creepy if I’m not around. He is just so secure. But I think that comes from the fact that not only does he trust me but he trusts himself. My ex was paranoid because he knew what HE was doing.*shaking my head* Glad I got out of that mess.
Post # 10
@Roe: Sounds like he learned that your friends were not to be jealous of. Honestly, if he was jealous of you married with kids photographer friend then that would speak more volumes on his insecurities then anything else.
Jealousy can be a very normal and healthy part of a relationship, feeling a twinge or it is completely normal now and then. Going into a jealous rage or picking a fight out of jealousy over something you have no control over (a guy hitting on you) is when it’s not healthy.
Post # 11
I have never seen my husband get jealous. In fact when I dance with other men, or tell him how I got hit on at the store, he feels impressed or “winning” for lack of a better term (seriously I couldn’t think of a better term), as others find his wife attractive, but I get to go home with him!
Post # 12
I think that’s an excellent sign that you have a healthy and trusting relationship, actually. Good for you!
Post # 13
Hahaha I feel the same way, except my husband has never been the jealous type, even when we were very young. I used to play around and tell him about this one friend I had in college who was always asking me over for dinner or tea (even when he knew I was in a committed relationship, and I always said no unless it was a group) and I would tell Darling Husband and he would be like go, do it! It’ll be funny!
I couldn’t make the man jealous if I tried! lol