Post # 1
My fiancÃ© and I have been engaged since January of this year. A month later I was in a car accident which made me partially disabled and it has been very difficult to find work. My fiancÃ© doesn’t make a whole lot of money either. Neither of us have very much. We are staying with my family right now and we need to have money to get our own place sometime in the not too distant future. I’m 28 and he’s 22. I just want to move out of the house. I plan on going back to school and he’s taking college classes right now. I really don’t want an over the top wedding because we need to invest in the rest of our lives. We have also been through a lot of stress and upheaval this year and I don’t want to add planning a wedding and reception on top of it. We probably have about $1,000 to work with not including the simple rings we picked out. I would just wait a while to do this until we are more settled financially but we have religious beliefs that would make that hard to do. We also don’t want to just go to the courthouse either. As it stands right now we would have to wait 8 months for this because he has family who live states away and go to school. I just want something nice but not crazy. I feel upset right now when this should be a happy time. Also I wanted to have my pastor uncle do the ceremony to save us a little money but he won’t do it. He says that we are not financially ready.
Post # 3
I think it’s up to you if you are ready to get married and if your uncle doesn’t want to marry you, I’m sure another pastor will. $1000 isn’t much to work with but if this is what you want and that’s the money you have, you can make it work. You just need to go small scale I guess. You could have a bbq at home or a cake and drinks reception
Post # 4
I’ve seen some beautiful “backyard” afternoon weddings, which have fewer expectations for being large gala-type events. There is nothing wrong with making the reception small, inlcuidng only close family and friends, and if you ahve a church home, I’m sure there would be a way to have some sort of reception committee set up to help out with refreshments. Depending on your church, you might be allowed to use whatever stands for a Fellowship Hall (sorry, grew up partly Baptist, so that’s what we called it) where dinners and other events are held – if not, see if you can borrow some long tables set them up in a family memebers or friends yard – you can decide if you want the ceremony there, too and just have it all in one place. It’s your wedding – after you do the important part and say, “I do,” you can do whatever you want for a reception – cake and punch is fine, and I’ve discovered that more people can make a traditional 3-teir wedding cake than a baker for far less than the price of 3 pans and some cake mix.
Have you explained to your Uncle that you want to do things right, and you want to be together as man and wife, not Girlfriend and Boyfriend or Best Friend, and being financially ready would be easier (maybe) if you were married and under the same roof? There are often medical and other benefits avaialble only to married couples, and I think there is assistance for college specifically available for married college students (you might be more elegible for grants). Or does your uncle have other objections, and this is the easiest for him to voice?