- 10 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
Before anyone gets upset that I’m being rude about not sending thank yous, I just want to say that all of my guests have received their thank you cards already, it’s just three people that we aren’t sure about.
#1. My husbands father and family. My husband and his Dad have only recently begun speaking again, and so we were surprised that he came to the wedding. It was great, until he decides to give a speech about how he doesn’t really know either one of us and then he goes on to say how much he resented me for not allowing him to talk to my husband!! wtf?! That never even happened, I was the one trying to get my husband to start talking, but he didn’t want to. I was pretty upset to hear that from him, and have him say it at our wedding infront of all of our guests. I had people coming up to me all night asking if I was okay. Im trying my best to ignore it, but it didn’t add to the happiness of our day. They also left without saying goodbye to me, nor did they offer congratulations or a welcome to the family type thing either.
Moving onto the thank you card issue. They were the only people to not only not give us a gift, but they also didn’t give us a card. I would have been perfectly happy with a card but they said they couldn’t figure out what to get us so they haven’t gotten anything yet. I don’t really get that because a gift card always works, and they knew where we were registered. If it was anyone else, I would say okay, we will wait and see if they do decide to give a gift before we write the thank you cards. But they’ve been saying for years that they have christmas presents or birthday presents for my husband, but he has yet to see any of them so I have a feeling we won’t be receiving a gift or a card. So my question is, do we just write a thank you for coming card, or do we not send one at all?
#2. My husbands mother. I have never been a fan of her because she can be quite rude sometimes but I always keep my opinions to myself and have been polite. Well I am done being polite to her as she no longer deserves it. On the happiest day of our lives, she decides it’s the perfect time to lose her mind and all manners and she said something really hurtful to one of our guests. We only found out about it aweek later when people brought it to our attention. In an attempt to fix the situation, we decided to talk to her about it calmly, and only suggested that it might be nice if she apologized for hurting that persons feelings, regardless of whether or not it was intentional. Well she lost it on us for even suggesting such a thing and after saying all these horrible things about us, she demanded my husband give her house key back and we are no longer welcome in her home. I have no idea what caused that reaction as we were both polite and calm but she feels its everyone elses fault and that everyone else is just too sensitive.
Onto the issue of a thank you card. She gifted us money to help with the wedding and paid for half of our wedding guestbook photo frame. This frame she is now holding hostage until we give her the photos and video from the wedding (which we don’t even have yet!) because she thinks we won’t give them to her after what has happened. I personally don’t think she deserves them after the way she has treated us, and for her to use our guestbook as a way to have power over her kids is just sickening to me. My family wrote really sweet things on that frame that we havent been able to see because she won’t let us come over to look at it. Im terrified shes going to do something crazy like burn it just to get back at us, even though we havent done anything wrong. It kills me that I am now related to someone who would go so out of her way to hurt her kids, especially during such an important time in their lives. Our wedding memories are forever tarnished by her now, and I get upset everytime I look at the pictures and one of her pops up. She also referred to some of our favorite wedding photos as garbage, even though we love them and we had an award winning photographer. So does this horrible woman deserve a thank you?
#3. MIL’s bf. He is the most arrogant, rude, cruel person I have ever met. He thinks hes so much better than everyone else and is very racist, homophobic and goes on about different social levels/classes that he sees as below him. He sent us a cheque for $100 for a wedding gift before the big argument with Mother-In-Law. He had said No to our rsvp, but later decided he would attend the ceremony only. Well Mother-In-Law and him decide that instead of him just going home for dinner, it would be better if he stayed for our reception too. That would be fine, except they didn’t notify us or anyone working there, and instead had him steal the seat of another woman at the table and just left her standing there!! When we were notified of this a week later, we brought it up to him and told him that we didn’t appreciate that he did tht to one of our guests. Well he then loses it and sends us this horrible email saying that he never did approve of our wedding as it was too extravagant for our social level (which is bull because I was the biggest DIY bride and even had a sunday wedding to save money and had less than 80 people!) and that he blamed me for all of this because I was obviously the one pressuring my husband into this mess.
At this point I never want to see or speak to either Mother-In-Law or her bf ever again for the cruel things they have said to us. So I apologize that it got so long, but if any of you were able to get through it, do you think any of them deserve a thank you card? I don’t have a clue what to say in them and any help is really appreciated!!