(Closed) I don’t trust my stepsons-to-be to help with the wedding

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I would maintain that you want all of your guests (and this includes the two boys) to be able to relax and not have to worry about extra responsibility on the day of your wedding. That’s why there are professionals to hire…so that your whole family can have a great time. If you keep spinning it like you’re trying to make sure they enjoy themselves, then there shouldn’t be anything to fight about. If you hint that it’s b/c you don’t trust them, that’s when it will all come to a head. 

Post # 4
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

It’s ok that you don’t necessarily trust them to do anything important. But be realistic about your FH getting annoyed at you for not trusting them. Don’t make excuses, because the fact is, you don’t trust them and you would rather them do something small for the wedding.

I think their job as best men is enough in this situation IMO. That is something big to trust them in (I mean they have to get their suits on time, stand in front of people, and be there for their dad). Doing something like watching the gift table is probably not going to go over so well. I would be offended if that were my job for the night, because that would mean no fun for me. (Sit there and watch a table?) You pointed out that you want them to have fun right?

Perhaps they could have the job of getting the car ready and making sure it’s where it needs to be in time. Or something that a best man would do in the first place. Stick your grounds with the iPod thing. But other than that, I’d say just let them not have to worry about anything.. dance and have fun without responsibility.

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