I don’t understand promise rings

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t either, unless you’re in high school, but I understand wanting a memorable token. A necklace would suit, too. Everybody I knew who got one in high school ended up breaking their promise basically, so I’m not sure how much salt they always hold. I actually wore a ring that Darling Husband gave me, but it definitely wasn’t a promise ring, it was just a ring. But somebody I know from college (mid-20’s) just posted her promise ring and it’s a pave diamond band with a big white topaz. THAT i don’t get. Looks JUST like an e-ring!!! I guess they serve a purpose and are cute for some couples, tho

Post # 4
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

A promise ring seems kind of HS to me–like you’re too young to get engaged and both parties know it, but you want to do something special so that’s it.

But if you’re both adults, I’m not sure I understand why you wouldn’t just get engaged? I suppose if you are planning to never get married, but even then…maybe call it something else.

Post # 5
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

When I was in middle/high school, promise rings were to symbolize your promise to wait to have sex for marriage… I always thought this was dumb simply because it’s something that is a very personal decision why flash it around to the world your decisions about sex? (at 12 in some cases – which is way to early to think about sex in my opinion anyway)  

I believe to some a promise ring symbolizes a promise to get engaged (which makes no sense to me, why the hell would you promise that in high school??). 

Post # 6
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

My 29 year old friend recently received a promise ring from her 34 year old boyfriend…. they have been dating 2 years.

Post # 7
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I got my promise ring right after we graduated high school (like a month).  We didn’t want a super long engagement but I didn’t want to get engaged as a freshman in college and didn’t want to get married while I was still going to classes for undergrad. I will admit though that after a while as we got older it did seem strange to have my promise ring on to promise to get married but not just get engaged.  

Post # 8
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Also, we’d been together like 7 months when he gave it to me and like I said we were just out of high school.  I did know a girl that got one as a Junior in college and it struck me as odder than me still having one.

Post # 9
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

My fiance gave me a promise ring our first Christmas together.  We exchanged rings to signify our commitment and intent to get engaged.  Thirteen months later he proposed.  He still wears his ring.  It’s not juvenile or “high school” since we were both in college.  I plan on having the diamond in that ring placed in a pendant setting to wear as a necklace.  It was our first major commitment to one another.

Post # 10
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I knew a couple where he gave her a promise ring their freshman year of college – age 18.  It aws really cute and he upgraded and officially proposed years later and are now married.  I think its just a higher level of commitment from “boyfriend”.

Post # 11
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Every guy that gave me a promise ring was eventually an ex-boyfriend. There was only one that gave me a REAL promise ring and thus is still around. 😉

Post # 12
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I exchanged them with my ex. We did it when we were 19 (had been together 2 years) because we knew we wanted to get married but we both wanted to wait until we were both done with school (which was going to be 5 more years for me bc of law school). It felt silly to wear an e-ring for that long and he didn’t have the money for one anyways. 

Post # 13
Member
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

It seems very high school to me. And we didn’t do one, even though we were the epitome of high school sweethearts. Hell, we were engaged without a ring for a month or two. 

Post # 14
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

 I have a promise ring. I’m in my mid 20’s (not young) and we got it around 2 years of dating. It is super special to me because we weren’t ready to get married, but he wanted me to know that we’d be getting engaged soon (yeah it’s been a year and a half since then though…). I love it, it’s special to me. My mom had a promise ring as well and I’d told him that I’d like one. It was just a step in our relationship that I wanted. I don’t think it’s childish, it’s just another piece of jewelry (except I wear it daily) that reminds me of him.

It’s an heirloom ring and I wear it on my middle finger of my left hand (it was too big to fit on my ring finger).

Post # 15
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I have a promise ring! It’s a cute little yellow gold band with a 0.03ct diamond in it lol! I love it so much and I wear it everyday on my right ring finger. My boyfriend gave it to me on our one year anniversary (we’ve now been together two and a half years) because at the time we were not yet considering marriage, but he wanted a symbol that our relationship was more serious. We were 21 at the time. I don’t think it was childish at all. We were both done with school and had full time jobs when this happened!

I actually really love the sentiment! I also think it will be awesome when we get engaged and I’ll add my engagement ring on my left ring finger and then when we get married I’ll add the wedding band and it’s like… little symbols of the stepping stones of our relationship 🙂 

Post # 16
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Miss Bubbles:

My 29 year old friend recently received a promise ring from her 34 year old boyfriend…. they have been dating 2 years.

I would be insulted if I were your friend.  I hope she dumped his ass.  That’s like saying “here, I love you but I don’t want to marry you.”  If she suspected he didn’t want to marry her before, she sure as hell knows now.

I get the concept of a promise ring in situations described by some of the Bees in this thread, if you do intend to marry but not for 4 or 5 years or so.  I think a promise ring in that kind of situation makes more sense than an actual engagement ring, as I think 5+ year engagements make even less sense than promise rings! 

Whew, my brain hurts now.

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