(Closed) I don’t understand promise rings

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 77
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I had a ring shortly after we got engaged that was in our then tiny budget. It was my promise ring until we could afford the engagement ring because when people heard we were engaged they expected to see a ring

Post # 78
Member
2625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: County courthouse

i dont understand “promise rings” either. either your ready to propose or your not…being engaged is not the important thing….its getting maried…why the hell would i want a ring as a promise of engagement???? it seems really silly to me.

Post # 79
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have one. Fiance gave it to me because he could affored it, and not an engagement ring.    He promised to buy me an engagement ring when his disability and malpractice cases go through.

Post # 80
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My now husband gave me a promise ring on our 1 year anniversary when we were 17. I think it was more a sign of his commitment and love rather than a pre-engagement ring. I loved it and wore it until we got engaged 6 years later. I still have it and adore the ring because it reminds me of our beginning and the newness of our relationship.

I actually remember a classmate of mine going off about how she though promise rings were completely stupid a few months after I received it. I thought it was funny, everyone has their own opinion.

Why people care what other people are doing in their relationships (absent abuse or the sort) is what confuses me!

Post # 81
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I have a promise ring and I’ve been wearing it daily for nearly three years now. My SO picked it out from his heart back when I was still in high school (he had graduated three years before me). It’s a symbol of his love and it’s a symbol to other’s that I’m committed to someone. I’m 21 now but I still wear my ring and love it. I know many women who even wears theirs after they are married as a RHR. 

My soon to be fiance used to have a promise ring but during a rough patch I took his back and returned it to the store (HA, oh well). I will get him a nice wedding ring when the time comes. For now I wear my promise ring and patiently wait for him to “officially” pop the question. He couldn’t afford a nice e-ring years ago, and although we loved each other from the start, marriage is something that takes time (and $$$). So a little $300 promise ring doesn’t hurt in the meantime.

Thanks to clever shopping, a lucky ad find in the newspaper 7 months ago (with no expiration date mind you), and some store credit, I will be getting a $6,000 ring, and he will pay less than $2,000 for it. Big taste, small budget, but careful planning and some patience and everything works out in the end. Seriously can’t wait to upgrade my “commitment” promise ring up to my forever and always ring.

Post # 82
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I find the whole thing bizarre as well. We don’t have them in the UK, though, so maybe I just don’t get it.

Post # 83
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I always thought the purpose of a promise ring was to symbolize that you would both save yourselves for marriage (a ring given at a young age).

 

Post # 84
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

Eh. A lot of people exchange promise rings because they are not in the engagement “stage” of life. Still in school, unemployed, not able to afford a wedding, etc. I don’t see why it should matter. If they want to make their commitment to each other known without being formally engaged (poked and prodded to set a date, etc.) then go for it. 

Post # 85
Hostess
8575 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I did promise rings in high school, but once I became an adult, I didn’t really see the point.

I realized that breakups happen and a promise ring doesn’t really hold much.

Post # 86
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@abbyful:  I think they are for younger people like teens early 20’s who are still in schooling and under parents support(money) 

 

alot of the time parents are not all thrilled there young daughers want to get engaged and take focuse off their school 

 

A promise ring is to say we are commited but need more time, still wanting to make some kinda formal declaration with you ruffling the feather if you are in high school collage or uni

 

also its sometimes happens when a man wants to be in a certin place before getting engaged 

 

like when they are in school or starting off in jobs or working towards a goal and don’t want to get engaged (or can’t afford the ring they want you to have) so they give you a promise ring less grande and make the commitment that when they get to where they need to be they want you as their wife 

 

its really more for people who just are not at that step yet but want there partner and the world to see they mean alot to them and have intentions 

Post # 87
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@crisy003:  Wow, a $300 ring is “little” to you?! Haha, my engagement ring was less than $100…

Well, I should explain. We just wanted to be married, and couldn’t care less about the value of a ring. We didn’t want to wait… we married at 23 and 25, which is super young in our social circle, and part of the world (grad students in urban Toronto…) 😉

I can understand, in theory, how promise rings might be right for some people. But for me, it just would have made me really angry… PERSONALLY, I would have felt like it was a committment but only going halfway, not all the way. I waited until the time was right to get engaged properly, because anything else would have felt inauthentic and not genuinely representative of our committment.

Post # 88
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Kissed_by_lightning:  Personally I can’t imagine delaying engagement and marriage until we have the “right” job, or enough money for an extravagant piece of jewelry… I mean, we chose to spend our lives together, not to delay starting our lives until we’re in that ever-elusive “right” place! But, to each their own.

Post # 89
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I have a promise ring. I love it. My Fiance gave it to me after 6 months of dating. We were 20 years old and both knew we had at least 4 years before we wanted to get married. However, he wanted me to have something to show his commitment to me and his promise to replace that ring with an engagement ring when it was the right time. I never wore it on my left finger though because I didn’t want anyone to be confused. Funny enough, the night before we got engaged, I was complaining about my promise ring being snug. I kept saying I wanted to get it resized and he just kept saying “uh huh.” Then the next day I had a brand new ring. I still love my promise ring though and plan to get it resized so I can still wear it. I don’t think it is “high school” especially since I got it in college. We are now both 25 and I still receive tons of compliments on it and will always smile and remember that my Fiance knew I was the one, even 6 months into our relationship.  

Post # 90
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m sure any of you that have been or are in a long distance relationship would understand the value of a promise ring.  My boyfriend and I exchanged them before I moved accross the country to go back to university. We plan on getting married when I am finished school but did not want our entire engagagement time apart from each other.  Call it “immature” but when you only see the love of your life every few months, every little token of love is important. 

Post # 91
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

it was a ring to be upgraded in my case

but im materialistic so i wouldnt say yes to what he got me initially

he upgraded it twice and the 2nd time i stopped calling it a promise ring

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